I can't tell if messaging you last night was a mistake. I feel stupid for being so weak, even dumber when you said you were going to come over but didn't. I don't understand what's going on in your head, how you think about me. You cry in my arms and hope I'll make you feel better, and I do. But what's in it for me? What do I get out of this? Simply seeing you is not a prize, I'm realizing it only makes me feel shittier as the days pass. I can't wait for you to leave. You use me, I don't think you mean to, but I've always been there for you but when are you there for me? It's just who you are, you use your job as a convenient excuse to hide from people. I don't want to see you tonight.