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Thread: Problem! How can I tell if he's into me??

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    Problem! How can I tell if he's into me??

    Hello everyone, I am new here and new to all this
    I joined because i have some questions to ask and because I need a second opinion because my friends can't really be objective when it comes to this what I'm going to ask...
    So without further ado, here it goes :
    Two weeks ago I met my elder sister's friend (in later text referred as NN )whom she hasn't seen for three years. I never knew him btw. Since i'm into theater directing I needed some actors for the play that I was preparing for my entrance exam, she asked NN to try out as an actor because he had some former experience with it. When I first met him I really felt something like "I know you
    I walked with you once upon a dream." seriously I'm not overreacting Since then I've been having the strongest deja vu in my life... And since then I was hooked NN is absolutely charming, enthusiastic, talkative, understanding and 10 years older I am 19...Sometimes we get each other without words... Anyway, to cut the story short... I can't really tell if he's into me or if he just wants to hang out with me... He was very helpful with the play and everything, and at the day of the big rehearsal he hugged me a lot and "accidentally touched" me... He shares as well the love of theater with me and after we were done with my play we even went to see another one in real theater twice We had a great time, but he didn't try anything...
    My question is how can I know if he wants to be with me? Is there some body language or stuff like that? He is older than me and older men are not really my area I know that I'm falling in love everyday more and more Please help! )

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    I can't read too many faces.

    But I'm sorry to say I think an age gap of 10 years is too much at 19.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Egziperans View Post
    he hugged me a lot and "accidentally touched" me...
    Ok, show us on a doll, where he touched you... hehe Sorry, but that just sounds so dirty.

    Seriously though, to answer your question. Ask him out on a date. If he says yes, he wants to be with you. Never fall in love with anyone you haven't been on a date with yet... I've made that mistake and it sucks.

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    Hahaha, sorry I didn't realize how that sounded! It was more like a gentle touch on my arm or he would hug me with one arm...
    I just wanted to know if there are some signs I can read or something like that because I'd still like to have him in my life even if he isn't into me, we can still be friends because if I figure out now when it's all starting I can still stop it...

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    Half plus seven. That's the rule to make him not be creepy, and i'm sure you don't want a creepy guy.

    So 29/2 + 7 = 21.5 years old <-- that is the minimum age he should be dating. Forget about him.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    Half plus seven. That's the rule to make him not be creepy, and i'm sure you don't want a creepy guy.

    So 29/2 + 7 = 21.5 years old <-- that is the minimum age he should be dating. Forget about him.
    Where did you come up with this bs? Most of my exs are younger than me like 10+ years. It's not intentional and they are the ones who makes the first move. Some girls just prefer the maturity and confidence of older men. That's just how it is. It's unfair to automatically assume the older guy is a creep simply because of his age. Some people are very compatible despite the age difference and if they are happy together, that's all that matters.

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    Speaking from experience I can say definitively that age doesn't matter at all. I'm guessing that the people here who are advising against this based on age have no personal experience (or a bad experience) of a relationship with an age gap. The idea that people have a "dating age range" is a generalisation at best.

    And I've heard of that equation before. What it is, is that for a man, the perfect age for them is a girl half their age plus seven years. Not only is it bs anyway, but it makes no sense, because the "perfect age" for the girl, doesn't age at the same rate as the guy. For every two years he ages, she only ages one year. Therefore, every year he would have to trade her in for a younger model. =P

    I met a woman when I was 16 who was 21 years older then me, and we're still together! My dad is 46 and he recently married a woman that is only slightly older than I am (I'm 22). Once you hit adulthood you don't really change anyway. If your a grown-up then your a grown-up, that that is the be all and end all of it.

    I would just ask him out. Worst thing he can say is no. The only thing I would be mindful of, is that at 29 he may be looking for something more serious than you.
    Last edited by Looq; 02-04-11 at 06:29 AM.

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    So Clint Eastwood is okay to date women who are at least 47? Damn, his 45 year-old wife should be ashamed.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonfire View Post
    Where did you come up with this bs? Most of my exs are younger than me like 10+ years. It's not intentional and they are the ones who makes the first move. Some girls just prefer the maturity and confidence of older men. That's just how it is. It's unfair to automatically assume the older guy is a creep simply because of his age. Some people are very compatible despite the age difference and if they are happy together, that's all that matters.
    ironically, men who are mature and confident tend to prefer women who are grown up.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Looq View Post
    Speaking from experience I can say definitively that age doesn't matter at all. I'm guessing that the people here who are advising against this based on age have no personal experience (or a bad experience) of a relationship with an age gap. The idea that people have a "dating age range" is a generalisation at best.

    And I've heard of that equation before. What it is, is that for a man, the perfect age for them is a girl half their age plus seven years. Not only is it bs anyway, but it makes no sense, because the "perfect age" for the girl, doesn't age at the same rate as the guy. For every two years he ages, she only ages one year. Therefore, every year he would have to trade her in for a younger model. =P

    I met a woman when I was 16 who was 21 years older then me, and we're still together! My dad is 46 and he recently married a woman that is only slightly older than I am (I'm 22). Once you hit adulthood you don't really change anyway. If your a grown-up then your a grown-up, that that is the be all and end all of it.

    I would just ask him out. Worst thing he can say is no. The only thing I would be mindful of, is that at 29 he may be looking for something more serious than you.
    You are still together, but she cares more about making her body look like a coloring book than keeping your sexual interest. Also, a 37 year old with a 16 year old is considered criminal behavior in a lot of places, and definitely qualifies as creepy. AND, if you think you don't really change as an adult, you are in for a big surprise.

    I haven't heard that half plus seven only applies to males. It works equally well for women.
    Last edited by vashti; 02-04-11 at 06:42 AM.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 View Post
    So Clint Eastwood is okay to date women who are at least 47? Damn, his 45 year-old wife should be ashamed.
    Not really... HE should. Then again, there's no fool like an old fool.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    You are still together, but she cares more about making her body look like a coloring book than keeping your sexual interest.
    It's just one problem, it doesn't reflect on the rest of our relationship. And not everyone in that topic agreed with me, some took her side.

    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    Also, if you think you don't really change as an adult, you are in for a big surprise.
    Of course you change, but not massively. Ask any man or woman if they feel they are any different now as to 20 years ago, very few will respond with "Yes, I am a totally different, that 25 year old person is completely dead". It's not like I'm just guessing, I have spoken to people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Looq View Post
    Of course you change, but not massively. Ask any man or woman if they feel they are any different now as to 20 years ago, very few will respond with "Yes, I am a totally different, that 25 year old person is completely dead". It's not like I'm just guessing, I have spoken to people.
    Not sure who you tells you this, but I think I'm going to let another grown-up address this.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    Lets assume you do, would that shop you from maintaining a friendship or a relationship with someone younger than you? I have friends of all ages some younger, some older, some much older. And I can socialise with them all in the same way (usually a conversation over a pint). Hell I' even go out my my granddad and his mates from time to time, and I always have a good time. I really don't see the big deal with age gaps. Historically speak, the taboo is a relatively recent thing, I don't know the subject well enough to put an exact date down, but age-gaps as a taboo have certainly been around for less than a century. And even now, how many celebrity couples are there out there which have sizeable age gaps. Quite a few. And I'm sure its not limited to the celebrity world (I would like to remind you of my aforementioned dad and stepmother).

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    woah, I didn't realize that my question will cause such a discussion... But I'll have to say that I didn't ask a question about the age gap...

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