What Else to Say

[CommMajor]

Hi Everyone,
I'm new to the forum. My boyfriend and I were talking yesterday and he mentioned that it kind of annoys him when I say, "I'm sorry" for things like traffic, not finding what he was looking for at a store, etc - basically for things out of my control. He mentioned he is more receptive to statements like "Yeah, traffic is frustrating, why are these drivers so bad?" and things like that. But I'm at a loss for what kinds of statements to make and was hoping for some examples. I hope I explained this clearly, let me know if any other details are needed. Thanks in advance for your help and time!

[Looq]

I know what you mean. I knew a guy who was like that. He would say sorry like 50 times a day, it used to bug me too. I'd be say things like "why are you sorry" and he would say "I don't know". It had just become a habit for him. If its not your fault don't say sorry because you have nothing to be sorry for, just say what happened.

Also maybe it's just the way your saying. Because I would say sorry in the examples you gave, but not in a truly apologetic way. It would just be a casual "Sorry I'm late." or "Sorry love, they didn't have what you wanted at the store."

[Yet another guy]

How about "aww, that's unfortunate".

[reeba]

You want us to come up with something else to say when he is stuck in traffic? Instead of saying the submissive sympathetic 'i'm sorry'. Do something totally different.

I think you should try the opposite approach and start screaming at the vehicle in front of the both of you. Just say some of the most foul stuff you can think of. And if you can't think of anything, just simply say 'move that piece of shit Ford (or whatever brand it is) out of our way, you #(*&^%*#(&$(#^%.

And then turn to your boyfriend, and say 'I'm sorry, I lost control of my gentle feminine emotions. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I'm not suppose to say I'm sorry for things I don't have control over. Oh, f#$^&, I'm sorry I said it again.................'

[OhHowLovely]

How about "aww, that's unfortunate".

You could say that too.

Also...
Yeah it does get annoying when people say "sorry" a lot, especially when they DO have control over the situation and won't do anything about it.

But since some situations are out of your control, maybe you can say something positive. I think it really depends on the situation that you're in though. Like let's say you're stuck in traffic - there really is no need to apologize for that, so don't. Instead, make use of that time that you're stuck in traffic, like talk/laugh & distract yourselves from the traffic (but keep a look out of course, you don't want to get into an accident ).

If you really feel the need to say something about the traffic, then maybe you could say "stupid traffic, oh well", then move on.

[bloodtippedrose]

Be more descriptive than "Im sorry" to show that you're listening. Also don't say something apologetic if you weren't the one who needs to be apologizing if you know what I mean.

I recommend repeating back what he's told you then adding your feeling about it. Him saying "work sucked, I was stuck outside and it rained all day" then you could say "Wow that sucked it rained all day, I absolutely hate how often its been raining lately.." It shows you were listening and adds to the conversation instead of stops it dead in its tracks.