Just to vent? Not real sure why I'm posting this.

[maniacthw]

I really have no idea how to start this.

Anyways, in high school I was a social outcast and joined a website for kicks (espinthebottle) and this girl had messaged me. This was Jan of 2004. Anyways, we met up that July and very quickly fell in love (uh oh!). We had an amazing relationship. Lasted 8 months and I was happy the entire time. We broke up due to some high school drama BS and continued talking about getting back together. Needless to say, that never happened. A new girl came into the picture and that pretty much sealed the deal. My ex didn't want me anymore. She continued on to date and so did I. I quickly realized that she always seemed to come around when I had another girlfriend though. After every break up, she came around for a little while, we might mess around, whatever, and then she'd gradually fade away. This could be because I threw myself at her (every time). It never failed, every time a new girl entered the picture, she'd come back around. I would've done anything for her... I drove a good three hours once just to see her at her new place because, as she told me, she was lonely.

Anyways, somewhere around 2009 (five years later), she got a new boyfriend she was really happy with. I realized then that I loved her when I didn't hate her or the new boyfriend for that matter.. I was happy to see her happy. It was at this moment that I realized it was more important to see her happy than it was for me to be happy. Well, my relationship fell apart, and her's kept going. She met me for some coffee, and we talked. She was happy, and I was happy for her. I made a promise when we were 16, that I would try to get her back no matter what. I wasn't going to honor that. I knew I couldn't live up to this new guy. I hop into another meaningless relationship. It went for 2.5 years. About 1.5 years in, she comes around and tells me that her and her new boyfriend broke up. Now's my chance! But I remembered that she only comes around when I'm with somebody... At least, that's how it seemed. Looking back, it just looks like it was the most convenient time. I stayed with my girlfriend another year planning out exactly how I was going to do this. I thought about my ex every day in those six years. From every kiss to every intimate encounter, I just wished I could close my eyes and open them to see my ex. My girlfriend finally left me.

I messaged my ex and we started talking. She came by my work once since and has blown off every plan we've had. She has a very busy schedule and this is understood. I stopped texting as often as I was and she stopped texting altogether. She did tell me she wanted this to work again. I told her I wanted it to also. Maybe I'm coming off as too desperate. Maybe now's not the right time. Who knows? I have NO doubt AT ALL that one day we will give it another go. I'm just dealing with the reality that it wont be soon. I can wish though, right?

Anyways, thanks for reading. I'm not even sure why I posted this.

[steviej]

You're mad. You've stayed in relationships and no doubt caused heartache to these poor girls due to your hang ups about this girl.

Forget her hapiness! Forget her altogether! Concentrate on you and making you happy.

[devonbrown]

You are coming off as way too desperate. In fact, to be honest, I am surprised you have had other relationships at all if you think about this other girl all the time. You need to move on. That was an 8 month relationship at age 16 that broke up because of "high school drama BS." Re-read that sentence multiple times. Does that sound like the world's best relationship or the best romance in the world?
Move on and let her move on. Remain friends if you want, but stop sabotaging every other relationship you have because of a relationship of less than a year that happened 6 years ago.

Good luck.

p.s. - If you didn't want advice, why did you post in a Love Advice forum?