Hi guys, how do you deal with a partner’s history? I’ve only been with my girlfriend for around 5 months and I’m struggling with her past to a point where it makes me feel sick, anxious and affects my day to day life. It’s very frustrating and makes me feel incredibly weak as a person.
I love her to bits but I know if I bring it up if she asks me ‘what’s wrong?’ if I go quiet she gets equally upset and starts having a go at me about it. It’s like a vicious circle.
I don’t think I can hack being with a girl who has had such a crazy past. I trust her but dealing with what she’s done, who she’s done it with and the situations she’s put herself into I don’t think I could marry someone like that – it would make me hate them eventually. The problem is I think it’s slightly abnormal for me to think like this.
I’m just looking for reassurances really from people who’ve been in my position. Is it normal for guys to feel ‘retrospectively protective’ about a girlfriend? It’s almost as if I love her too much or see her as being too perfect that things like this end up screwing it all up.
I’ve come really, really close to ending it with her on a couple of occasions but I’ve not brought myself to it. It’s like that quote; “sometimes giving up takes more courage than to carry on”. Not word for word, but you get the idea.
Thanks for any replies. I’ll take a wander through some other threads to see if I can offer any advice. It’s easier to talk about these things to perfect strangers than to people close to you…