She wants me to "miss her" whenever she isnt there......!!!!

[bloodtippedrose]

Why do people marry so young? Especially their high school sweethearts, they haven't had the chance to experience other people and find true compatibility, they only associate "comfortable" with "compatible" Why does everyone think love = marriage? Why don't people take "till death do us part" seriously? It's like they're lying to themselves.

[a19drift]

Also, never use the abbreviation, "tomoz". If you do, she will **** another dude, or divorce you, or both.

Bahaha. Amen.

[drummer05]

Why do people marry so young? Especially their high school sweethearts, they haven't had the chance to experience other people and find true compatibility, they only associate "comfortable" with "compatible" Why does everyone think love = marriage? Why don't people take "till death do us part" seriously? It's like they're lying to themselves.

Well we are both religios jews, went to seperate schools, both virgins.. etc. So it worked out very well for us to get married young.... many people would want to go out and experiment, but we arent used to that lifestyle so we dont even think about it....

Dont get me wrong, we are incredibly compatible... i couldnt think of anyone else that i would rather be with and she feels the same...

you make a valid point... but for us it dousnt really apply!

Josh M

[girl68]

Why does everyone think love = marriage?

Everyone thinks that love = marriage. I'm specifically asked for "love keeps people together" bullshit out of my vows. Because I disagree, I'm told my minister this. I also said something about we've both loved before and that didn't result in marriage so why would we say love brought and will keep you here when clearly it doesn't. I want my minister to be blunt marriage is hard, it takes work. It takes shutting up when you want to speak, it takes saying sorry when you might not be. It takes sucking it up and doing things you don't want to. It takes work, and lots of it. Effort must be on-going. When I take those vows, I mean them. I'm also not saying "till death do me part" because if the effort isn't there anymore and we try and try again and we fail we're done. I'm not staying around when neither of us want to work anymore and don't care enough to even try. I'm not staying around unhappy because I promised him I would.

This is my take on it anyways.

[doppelgaenger]

Everybody here is missing the point: She's trying to manipulate you into missing her. That ain't right, and neither is lying to her. Doesn't matter if you're married or not. It *shouldn't* make a difference.

I would leave her a voicemail/text message that says when she's finished playing childish games, we're going to have a talk about all this. Then I'd let her come back on her own. Lying and saying "I miss you" would reinforce her stupid behavior, which I assume you don't wanna deal with. And why would I let her come back on her own time? Well, when you talk to her about all this, you want her to have calmed down. You already establish just by leaving a message that you care about her, so it is not necessary to beg her to come back; you might as well say you miss her, lol!

Then when she gets back, you'll have to have a really lengthy and deep conversation about feelings. "Guys just don't feel that way" doesn't cut it. Ask her questions like "Do you think I don't love you?" and "Would you be happier if I lied to you?" You're going to have to talk to her about the way she ran off to manipulate you like that. You're going to have to find out why she misses you after just a couple of hours when you're out with your friends. Doesn't she have anything else to do? Maybe she doesn't... you need to sit down with a paper and pencil and figure it out. Never confront a girl about her feelings unprepared.

[Take2]

"Do you think I don't love you?" and "Would you rather I lied to you?" are antagonistic questions. Which is fine if you want a fight. But I would think you would either want to throw in the towel, in which case no conversation is needed, or work toward a happy future, in which case there is no need to add your bad behavior and unkindness into the mix.

Better questions might be "waht does missing you look like?" since it is possible you DO miss her by her definition. Other good questions might be "Why is it important that I miss you?" "What does missing you mean about how I feel, what does it prove?" "if I can't change my feelings and miss you on command, what else would meet that need for you?"

And then, "moving ofrward, can we agree to talk about our feelings and needs instead of jumping to conclusions and attacking each other?"