How do I end this?

[girl22]

Dear Readers,

I need your advice. I am dating a guy now for two years and just recently he has gotten into medicine. The course has taken up his whole life and I feel significantly left out, although I am understanding and I give him time and space when he needs it to study. Recently he hadnt seen me for two days (which is a far bit considering we have been seeing each other everyday for the past two years) and i mentioned having missed him. I ran to his place from work and he pushed me aside saying he needs to study and he would take me out later. We had a huge fight later on that evening after he finished studying and we resolved our fight. This weekend came around and he didnt want to see me either, although he did mention knowing that we havent spent time together. He spent all weekend with his family and today, when he had some time off, he went out with his brothers instead.
I feel alone and I dont know how to stop feeling like this. I try hard to keep myself busy but in the end i think, is this all worth it? I find it hard to talk to him because he feels i complain all the time and I cant talk to him without bursting into tears.

Any advice?

[Bonfire]

You are pretty clingy if you can't go a couple of days without seeing him. You should give him some breathing room to study. It will be good for him. Just be supportive. It's not like you don't get see him for a week. So on those days you can't see him, just hang out with some friends. It will take your mind off of it for a little while. Be a little more independent would also be good for you. And when you do call him to talk, avoid complaining and crying, if you keep that up, it might drive him away. I'm sure you don't want that. So just relax, he is just focus on school, he wants to study hard so he can provide for a better life for the both of you.

[girl22]

Yeah, I agree with you. I have tried so hard to keep myself busy. Im finding it terribly hard though and im giving up. I live alone, which makes it even harder and more depressing. Sometimes I think I want to run away and never bother him. I never call him or ask him to come meet me. Whenever he has the time he comes to meet me. I do, however, get upset when he should be meeting me and he doesnt.
Im really confused and I dont know how to pull my life back together. I used to be very independent.

[Bonfire]

Like you say, you two have been seeing each other every day for 2 yrs, that is a long time and you have gotten use to it. So it isn't easy to go without him. And it makes it harder since you live alone with no one else around to give you company. Do you not have friends or siblings you can hang out with? You should make some new friends if you don't. And don't let your emotions get the best of you and make you do something like break up or run away, that will only make you regret it in the future if you did that. Just be strong, look at this as an opportunity to develop your independence again. Go out, socialize with new people, or take on a new hobby. And just think in a day or two, you'll see him and it's all good.

[girl22]

my sibling is in another city and my parents are in another country. i have friends, but i am not really interested in hanging out with them and i do know that that is my fault completely. i am the sort of person that would happily stay home on a friday or saturday if im in a committed relationship.
also, if i do go out, my bf always gives me time limits so i feel like il be worrying about them too much and hence seldom go out.
thank you for making me feel better ... iv been trying to become independent since a while ago but its just really hard. sometimes he seems so interested, he will spend the whole day with me and i will feel on top of the world. and sometimes i come crashing down like this.

[pisces25]

You are depending on him for your happiness way too much. If spending the day with him makes you feel on top of the world but being without him makes you come crashing down you are not experiencing healthy emotional states at all. And chances are he is picking up on your clinginess which is potentially driving him further away. I know you say you find it hard to talk to him however if you want this issue resolved you are going to have to discuss it with him. Find out if his studies are the sole reason he can not see you as much or if something deeper is going on. Until you do you will most likely remain in these states of highs and lows.

[girl22]

thank you for your reply.

I feel like if i confront him, my development into being independent will not be successful. I want to do this on my own. I just really need to concentrate on remembering that hes not always going to be there for me. You know when I make plans with my friends, he says casually says that he wished we could do something ... so I drop all my plans and keep space and time for him always. There is not one moment that im not there for him if he needs me. I guess it does sound crazy and im going to have to make a change. I just need to know how to pick myself up again.