Ladies, how do show your interest in a guy?

[ineedtoflyaway]

I was only smiling because I'm in love =) not because I turned him down, I only turned him down because I was afraid of what would happen: what if I'd blew it? Or that he didn't find me interesting? So I decided to play it safe and avoid being hurt, which is probably what your girl is doing. I'm not sure what you should do... and what sort of questions have you asked her? One reason for why I turned this guy down, is because he wanted me to come with his friends and hang out with them several times, which I didn't want (I don't know his friends, and how would I act? It's all very scary when you're in love).

I feel the same way you do; I really want to be friends with him. I don't need to visualize him and me getting intimate (though of course I do at times, haha), sometimes it's enough just to talk to him or know that he exists on this planet! It makes me feel better, and happy. I haven't felt this kind of love before. I think my needs are changing; I want to get to know people on a deeper level than before, and he gives the most interesting conversations. What has this girl told you when you ask her out? Have you asked her out?

(And I realllllly suck at taking initiative. That could be the case with her too... what can I say. We're made that way)

Holy smokes girls.. just got back from seeing her yet again. Oh man, I don't know what to think anymore *sobs* I'll go back to retell the story a bit. OK, first time we hit it off good, she looked nervous a bit, bite her nail and glanced away. I gave her my email and she said she would see me around and we left after small talk. Lies, a week over past. I decided to met her again after her class acting stupid. Ok now to what happened today. She said she couldn't find me on Facebook so that's her reason she didn't contact me. I was OK, who in this day in age doesn't know how to add people on Facebook? (said it in my head) You have an email and search that on there. Unless she's computer illiterate. I'm digressing. I was OK, hey how was class? small talk small talk. I was like hey, you want to hang out sometime "she coughs" she said yeah umm (she was going to take out her notebook so I can write it down) as she told me, well i'm kind of in a hurry. Luckily I planned this ahead of time and had already made a small paper with again my email and added my phone number. She's like OK, I'll make sure I text you. And she left in a hurry. I wanted to talk to her more even compliment her but she had to go fast. I was kinda bummed out but, hey back to the waiting game.

What I find odd in all this is if she wasn't interested why couldn't she tell me directly? "Hey I'm sorry, I can't take your email or # right now sorry." Maybe say, "I have boyfriend." Cause I told her, "would you like to hang out sometime when you have time?" She ignores it and just pulls out her notebook so I can write down my contact info. By now she should know I am pursing her badly. Second time around I wait for her after class. But, she never does push me away. When I approach her she stops and listens. Except this time she was in a hurry so I let her go. To me its more of her giving interest and then leaving me hanging. We used to hit it off good in our Spring class now she is ignoring me. Now that I wait again I have to see if she contacts me or calls. I hope she didn't want me to ask for her #. Man, i'm such a newbie at this.. didn't have the courage to. She has my # and email. I hope that isn't the reason she isn't contacting me cause she wants me to call her. I'm trying again next week IF nothing happens. Because I don't have her contact information at all! I should of asked for her #. I will next time, don't worry. After this that I'm giving up maybe she is being nice and knocking me down playing with my head. She's so nice too I don't know what to think.. we have so much in common too. School , career, likes, dislikes, even have the same last name and ethnicity. How can this go downhill unless she does like me and wants me to keep going after her. But, some of my friends say probably not. Its really a coin tosser unless she tells me directly or contacts me so we can go on a date. Nothing..

I hope I'm not a creep but, I been searching her name on Facebook today (I wasn't that desperate before even after half a month now thinking of her) Lots of time passed trust me, and well patiently I said, why not search for her on facebook? Why not.. I do like her. And I didn't go out and spy on her the first day we met. Its reasonable that half a month passed and I go ahead and look. By searching and searching on facebook from countless people with her name I FOUND HER!

Yes, its her! WOW. But, note again wasn't spying right away.. just curious. Amazing! And now that I do should I wait to add her? Don't want to look desperate after seeing her 2x in a row and then add her the next day. I wonder if she would even add me if I do say 3 days from now? Man this isn't going perfect but, i'm trying. :-(

To answer your question "imagineallthe.." What has this girl told you when you ask her out? Have you asked her out?"

When I try to ask her out she doesn't say anything. Well the first time I didn't ask her out I was just being friendly. But, today I wanted to ask her out somewhere but she was in a hurry. So in a split second I hesitated and said "well if you want to hang out sometime when you are free let me know." And she left cause she was in rush.

[SapphireBerry]

My own answer to this one... We women are all different. I mean I'm open about my feelings and if I want to get with a guy I will make it happen and let him know how I feel.
Though sometimes that just ruins things so I kinda stopped doing that for a while, she probably didn't tell you because she was afraid of what you may think, I mean a lot of my
female friends keep their crushes on the low down, I'm the only one who would pursue a liking for someone and suck it up and ask for their number. I'm not extremely shy, but i can come off as shy sometimes and open the next, we women of course can be hard to read but yeah if a girl likes you, like a man she will make it clear if you try interacting with her more and getting to know her. Don't anaylse or look too deep into it all the time though, you'll drive yourself mad trying to understand the opposite sex!

[ineedtoflyaway]

OK everyone, I don't know if she's being polite or hinting me if she doesn't contact me its because she doesn't want to hang out. I was planning to see her again for the 3rd time in a row but, if she was in a rush the 2nd time wouldn't that signal she felt uncomfortable maybe I'm creeping her waiting outside her class? Why doesn't she tell me directly she isn't interested? I think I'll wait one week before I see her again.

It could be 2 things:

1. She isn't interested even being nice but, she is killing me though. If she told me anything like I can't hang out with you or refused to take out her notebook to write down my info I would greatly take the hint. But its the opposite!

2. She's really busy and can't contact me even though she says she would.

My options:

1. Give up- let her go. 40%
2. Keep trying/pursuing. 60%

But if I keep going I feel I'm annoying her.. and if I let too much time pass (now half a month of me pursuing) and is playing hard to get, she'll think I gave up. I don't know.. wish she rejected me.. don't any of you reject new friends anyways? I know we aren't bf/gf but, I want to get to know her.. I hate infatuations. Great time too, my last year in college and she had to talk to me everyday.

[jb1111983]

ineedtoflyaway, I wouldn't give up yet if I really like her. I wouldn't rush and pressurise her either. I'd just be friendly with her, hang out, find things to do together, flirt with her in a way that's not too obvious. And when I feel she's beginning to really enjoy spending time with me I'd make it very clear to her that I've always liked her. I'd take time because it's not a love at first sight and because she may be really confused initially.

I just found this girl actually likes me. I just never got the subtle hints she was giving. I went through all the text messages, emails she sent me. I can't believe I missed out on all her hidden messages!! Maybe because I told myself she wasn't gonna like me very soon because she'd turned me down when I first asked her out. But so much has happened since. All our 'special moments' happened after that. Whatever happens in the future I doubt either of us will ever forget those moments.

[ineedtoflyaway]

ineedtoflyaway, I wouldn't give up yet if I really like her. I wouldn't rush and pressurise her either. I'd just be friendly with her, hang out, find things to do together, flirt with her in a way that's not too obvious. And when I feel she's beginning to really enjoy spending time with me I'd make it very clear to her that I've always liked her. I'd take time because it's not a love at first sight and because she may be really confused initially.

I just found this girl actually likes me. I just never got the subtle hints she was giving. I went through all the text messages, emails she sent me. I can't believe I missed out on all her hidden messages!! Maybe because I told myself she wasn't gonna like me very soon because she'd turned me down when I first asked her out. But so much has happened since. All our 'special moments' happened after that. Whatever happens in the future I doubt either of us will ever forget those moments.

I'm not going to give up. But, I think its time to move on for a while and give her time to think. Whether she decides to bail on me or not. She has my number and email despite her lame excuses. After a couple months before schools over I will head out there one last time. This time asking for her number. Uhh I hope that's a good comeback? After all I wont ever see her again and her attempts to push me away is confusing. I'm trying that's all that matters and a third time is reasonable I hope. Well back to my life people, have a good one- I did what I could. And all I wanted to be is a friend (then more if we clicked.)