What should I do?

[Galleyla]

I'm 20 year old male and have never had a real in person relationship (This never affected my ability to talk to women tho). I've had several short run ins, but most were during my younger ages where my understanding of love was misconstrued i believe. Recently, I met someone who i connect with well based on our character traits (morals, personality, outlook). This allowed me to like her more. Eventually, she liked me back. We had mentioned that we wanted to take things slow before to be able to discover each other and not feel pressured. Now that it has come to crunch time where i feel that my decision decides whether we become something or not, I'm feeling doubt. I have two theories why. A) I feel that aside from the connections we have based on character, that we may have no connection when it comes to the way we think (humor, interests, hobbies). However, there are some common grounds. B) Since Ive never really had a relationship i have nothing really to base my feelings towards her off of. so i feel i may not know what i truly have in front of me, which from first whim is someone special worth figuring out, but its all so confusing. Whatever it may be...i feel doubt and hesitation when it comes to truly starting things, and I dont want to enter a relationship questioning whether shes truly for me or not. Help would be greatly appreciated.

[Bonfire]

Since this is going to be your first relationship. Put aside your doubts and hesitation and go for it. Consider this your chance to explore the unknown. A chance to have valuable experience in this area of your life. You have to start somewhere. Whatever doubts you may have might be resolve throughout this relationship. Don't worry about screwing things up, it happens to the best of us. So don't be afraid, go for it!

[Galleyla]

Since this is going to be your first relationship. Put aside your doubts and hesitation and go for it. Consider this your chance to explore the unknown. A chance to have valuable experience in this area of your life. You have to start somewhere. Whatever doubts you may have might be resolve throughout this relationship. Don't worry about screwing things up, it happens to the best of us. So don't be afraid, go for it!

Honestly man, this was one of my thoughts that seemed the most logical to me. The other thing that made me feel doubt is that i feel that I dont have a passion for her, but i also feel that i just may not know of that passion because of it being in the unexplored side of things. Thats the biggest confusion i guess. I feel that you are right. I mean it will be a good experience irregardless considering I have no real experience. Thanks man. People, still feel free to add on to the discussion.

[Bonfire]

Do you at least find her attractive? If yes, then go for it. You won't know what passion or love is like until you can compare it with something. I sorta like my first girlfriend and thought it was love since I had nothing to go by but it wasn't. I knew what love is when I met my second girlfriend. The passion will simply consume you in every way. You can't stop thinking about her, you are excited to see her everytime... it runs deep into your soul. Even though I was not passionate about my first girlfriend, I learn a lot about relationship and dating from her. She had to teach me how to do everything lol. And I always thank her for that even though I dump her later. Life is a learning process so start somewhere.

[Galleyla]

Do you at least find her attractive? If yes, then go for it. You won't know what passion or love is like until you can compare it with something. I sorta like my first girlfriend and thought it was love since I had nothing to go by but it wasn't. I knew what love is when I met my second girlfriend. The passion will simply consume you in every way. You can't stop thinking about her, you are excited to see her everytime... it runs deep into your soul. Even though I was not passionate about my first girlfriend, I learn a lot about relationship and dating from her. She had to teach me how to do everything lol. And I always thank her for that even though I dump her later. Life is a learning process so start somewhere.

Yea, I find her attractive. I also agree with what your saying here. Helped me understand my confusion more since someone else can sympathize and understand what it may be. haha, the question hit my mind when she told me she misses me and i didnt necessarily miss her all that much, but i still like her for the most part. Than again, i have trouble missing people in general...im a very lonely guy when it comes to real personal business. However, i think i may need this experience to change, understand, or truly appreciate everything.

[Yet another guy]

The other thing that made me feel doubt is that i feel that I dont have a passion for her.

That's probably a good thing especially for the first time. It really sucks bad to have a crush on someone only to find out later that she isn't interested. Always start dating before you feel the passion.

[Galleyla]

That's probably a good thing especially for the first time. It really sucks bad to have a crush on someone only to find out later that she isn't interested. Always start dating before you feel the passion.

Yea I agree. However, I already know shes interested in me, but i was more so agreeing with the fact that if i fell hard for someone so early on before getting into the relationship, only to find out that we don't work, that would suck. I also for one, don't think im the type of person that can fall for someone easily. Its just not me. However some people can. Theres pluses and minuses for both, but i believe my way is less painful...Its just causes me to have a lot of doubt early on, but i think taking the plunge may change all that as bonfire said.

[smackie9]

That is why there is dating....to get to know them better, see if it's worth continuing and then just let things develop from there...you over analyze things so much you are taking the fun and adventure out of being with someone. I feel this causes you anxiety and it has prevented you from having a GF all this time.

[Galleyla]

That is why there is dating....to get to know them better, see if it's worth continuing and then just let things develop from there...you over analyze things so much you are taking the fun and adventure out of being with someone. I feel this causes you anxiety and it has prevented you from having a GF all this time.

Yes, youre right for the most part. Religious background has also played a big role in why I haven't had a gf in so long, but in this case it isn't the issue. Its the over analyzing part i believe. I need to do some meditation and rid my mind of all the thinking, hesitation, and doubt and just go for it. Thanks man.