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Thread: Please help! Really in need of advice!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    Female
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    Please help! Really in need of advice!

    My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 months now.The other day I got on his twitter page and noticed that he posted a picture of a girls behind on it. Concerned and a little hurt I called him up and asked him why he thought it was ok to do that. He said it was one of his female friend's picture and that she put it there, not him. Then he said I was overreacting and ended the conversation. Later on I noticed that he went on there and apologized to her. In his words exactly: "sorry I guess I can't come at you like that on here, I'm being watched. SMH (shaking my head)". Never did he call me to apologize to me because I was actually the one that got offended. I felt like in other words he was telling her that just because he's "being watched" he can't put stuff like that but as long as he isn't "being watched" then it's perfectly fine to do that kind of stuff. I seriously felt like my feelings were being disregarded and completely ignored.

    So the next day we had another conversation about it. This time he said he put the picture on there (retweeted it) and that she was just his friend and he thought it was funny. I asked him if he would be ok with me putting up a picture of one of my friend's private part on facebook and he answered no. He also added that she has no interest in him romantically, she's just a friend. We have had an issue prior to this because one of my male friends posted a comment on my facebook page that was really not that big a deal but he felt really uncomfortable with it and he talked to me about it and I respected his feeling and told my friend to not do that anymore (I didn't say don't do it because he's watching me, I said don't do it PERIOD). So I reminded him of that and he immediatelly discarted it saying that it's not the same because he thinks my friend likes me but his friend doesn't like him. Then he turned the whole situation on me and said that I was assuming he was cheating on me and that I shouldn't even be looking on there in the first place, I was being nosy and I should mind my own business. So he just ended the conversation and ignored me after that. After basicly begging him to listen to hear me out we talked about it some more and he said that he could see where I was coming from. But I still felt bad for some reason and apologized for I don't even know what. After thinking about it I just wondered what I was apologizing for if I was the one offended should he be the one to apologize?
    So here are my concerns in this whole situation:
    1) All I wanted him to do was to respect my feelings and stand up for me like I stood up for him. Whoever posted the picture (it doesn't matter) it offended me and they shouldn't do it if I feel uncomfortable with that kind of stuff period.

    2) I never even mentioned (or even thought about) him cheating on me and I don't understand why he got so defensive like that, which actually worries me now.

    3) If he thinks it's perfectly fine for FRIENDS to do that kind of stuff, then what else does he think is ok to do with his friends?

    4) Should I really mind my own business? Was I being nosy? I always thought that in a relationship you share your life with the other person. But with him it seems like he wants to show me somethings about his life and hide others.

    5) I would really like to have a conversation with him about something that I feel is wrong without him interrupting me and walking out on me. Every time he has an issue with something I sit there and listen to him talk. I don't interrupt him, get upset and turn things on him, and I don't walk out on him.

    6) He never apologized. That concerns me because it says two things: One, he's a little arrogant and proud. Two, he doesn't really acknowledge that he made a mistake and if he doesn't acknowledge that he made a mistake then what's to stop him from doing it again? Or am I asking for took much?

    I'd just like to know if I'm overreacting about this or is this as they say a "guy thing" and should I just let it go?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    2,229
    Posting photos online of a female friend's ass is not really okay and it's pretty creepy on top of that.

    As for all your questions, it appears that you're right and he's wrong, but that's because we're only hearing your side of it.

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