Confused on what to do.

[g33ky_chic]

I need some advice right now.

I've been seeing my boyfriend for 2years now. I love him tremendously and he knows that. But recently he's been overly aggitated about things. I know he's upset about his housing situation.

*quick rundown: he got a house with his ex and she cheated on him and left to marry some other guy. Since the house deed was under both their names to get her name off the deed he had to pay her so much money. Even though he was the one paying the mortgage. At the same time he's been left dealing with a house he doesn't like and all the extra bills she was handling. Fast forward he's bitter about it. Gets very irate when he has to do anything with the house. He admits he should have never gotten the place. His parents tried to warn him as well.*

I only see him on the weekends. I talked with him on Monday asked him how he was doing. He was agitated and said he doesn't want me to spend the night over on Sundays anymore. Sorta caught me off guard. So I asked him if he was breaking up with me? He said he needed a break from everything. I already told him if there is things he needs to do all he has to do is tell me.

He told me that he realizes he hasn't been the nicest person to be around and thats why he wants some space. He needs time to sort out things in his head. And get stuff done around the house. Which is fine.

Naturally I'm a bit sad about all of this, but I've been giving him his space. I don't talk to him unless he wants to talk to me. I deleted his screen name from my buddy list so I wouldn't have the urge to IM. Which he still does. He even got movies for us to watch. And he still plans to come over for my sisters for easter dinner.

But the whole I need space thing, makes me keep thinking that he just doesn't want to be with me anymore and he thinks dating me was a mistake. I know he was in that relationship with his ex for 7rys before I came along. He started talking to me 6months after they broke up. I know when I say something there is no hidden meaning or underlying cryptic message. I know most people aren't like that. I've been googling the phrase "I need space" and everything keeps coming up as he wants to break up or he probably wants to date other people. Which doesn't help my natural tendency to over think things.

I'm not an overly needy person, I will nag about getting a cuddle every now and then. We have a lot of similar interest. I know I have a tendency to bring up marriage and kids every now and then. But I don't expect him to pop the question or anything like that till I can get myself sorted out. He knows that. I'm no mooch and don't like the idea of having to rely on someone financially. Oddly enough which is what his ex sorta did. She pretty much relied on him for having a place to live and stuff. Where he can be high strung I'm more laid back. I don't care to overreact about things.

I'm not sure if I'm over reacting, analyzing or anything. I've already been having a crappy month as is, so him needing space just kinda hurts and confuses me. Even after he told me why. I understand it mentally but emotionally I'm perplexed and sad.

If someone can just shine a little light on things that be great!

Thank you!

[smackie9]

You are totally over reacting. I can see the burden this house has been for him and all the bs that has gone with it. Basically he really should have waitied so he could settle his finances, sell the house, and settled all the other things with this break up before getting into a new life with someone else. But he is one to jump into things without really thinking things over. Now he sees that he isn't ready but it's too late to back out of your relationship, so all he is asking of you is to give him time to sort out his affairs properly. He doesn't want to drag you into this mess he is having trouble dealing with because it makes him a very ugly person. You could just for now do a long distance relationship instead. It can be fun, and this will help build your relationship....it will make you two become closer.

[g33ky_chic]

Thanks for your response.
You are most likely right. My head has been in a wreck of a month. So when he decided he needed space just kind of through me for a loop. I'm trying really hard to not think about it and go about my day getting my own self situated. I'm still kinda in a daze from it. But I'm going to use this time to try and focus on what I need to do. He still initiates contact with me which is great. Just sorta wish is timing could have been better about all of this. But I guess no one really plans for these types of things.