Was he trying to be nice or is he just busy?

[LoveWanderer]

There was this guy I met on OKC beginning of April. We chatted a bit and hang out twice. During the 2nd time we met, he asked me what would prompt people to reply, so I shared some of my own experience and some other stuff other people told me before. I also pointed out that having 'short term dating' in the profile could possibly turn away some women since 'short term' was kinda synonym to 'casual sex with no strings attached'. I also added that I personally was no big fan of that term either. For these 2 times we hang out casually, one art gallery outing, one dinner, just chat, nothing physical at all or no dating talk at all, just like how 2 friends would hang out.
The next day he emailed me to tell me that he was not aware there was so much game playing involved in online and his whole point of signing up for an account on OKC was to find interesting people to chat with as he was considering OKC as a more relaxed version of eharmony and match. He also brought up the fact he was not in a position to get into any long term relationship because of his amount of time spent in research and the fact he was going to go to medical school in the fall, not knowing where he was going to go yet. However he did say it was totally worth meeting me and looking forward to more fun activities in the future.
I like hanging out with this person but it is way too early to tell if I like him. I don't understand why one would even bother to mention about long term at this stage. Anyhow I replied his email and told him that was perfectly cool and I would like to hang out more with him too because he was a fun and nice person. Since then, it had been a bit over a week and not a word. I also know that the day after I sent him my reply, he closed down his OKC account, not an issue as we had been communicating via email anyway.

1) I personally would push the word 'friend' in the email up front if I see no more than that with someone.
2) I also would not mention anything about hanging out again, that it was fun we should do it again with anyone, girl or boy, if I don't really mean it.

But then I am a girl. I really don't know how guys think. Will guys mention they want to go out again when they don't mean it at all? I would have preferred him to be more direct and honest than letting me down nicely this way.

[smackie9]

He talked about not getting into long term because that is most women usually want and he wanted to make sure that there would be no misleading. Bottom line, he is looking for sex, not companionship, which is typical with guys who troll those sites. Him saying he just wanted to meet interesting people to chat with is BS. Guys don't stick around if there is no kind of prospect of sex. So don't be flaggin "Friend" around too hard or you will never get to a third date.

[LoveWanderer]

Well one other reason he mentioned about signing up for an account was part curiosity part fun and he was tired of eating alone.
He did mention he was not aware it would require so much maintenance such as chit chat, setting things up, etc so he thought that this whole online thing may not be suitable for him.
I would like to give him benefits of doubt though. He feels honest and a bit shy.
He is also Asian American and somewhat old school.
Therefore I am really not sure if your speculation is a good one.
I like his company for sure but I am not the kind that would casually give in either, not even a hug.

[LoveWanderer]

Just curious, how often do people on those sites are supposed to keep in touch in general.
Is one week no reply considered short or long?

[sadie_genie]

Yup, he is letting you down nicely when he said he wants to hang out with you more (meaning he just wants to be friends). He mentioned that he would be busy with school and he isn't in the position to be in a relationship. Take that seriously. His mind and heart just isn't there for a relationship. When an Asian guy wants a relationship, he goes heavy with commitment.

[LoveWanderer]

I actually don't mind making a friend. I guess I was wondering if we would just have a chance to hang out again and do stuff together.

[sadie_genie]

Ya, when he is not busy. I am sorry I have to say this but you probably won't be a priority though. : (

[HeartIsAching]

He's basically telling you to piss off politely. Pushing it will likely result in him being less polite about it.

[LoveWanderer]

He wrote back wednesday morning apologizing for the late reply due to a busy week.
Just generic words. Oh well. I told him same here and told him to take care.
I was almost inclined to write: wish you best of luck with future endeavors but frankly I don't know if it is rude to do so.
If one writes that, it pretty much means farewell I don't wanna talk to you anymore right?
Also thought it may be a bit rude and would make me sound like a douche if he was really busy.
Personally I know some of my friends also don't end up writing back for a while when they are super busy.
It seems like it is always me who have to be the one asking people to do things together to go for dinner etc.
Will it be too much if I casually ask him if he is free to grab a bite next week?