I must tell my boyfriend the truth... How...?

[Skyblue9548]

What should I do? I live with two identities.?
I am a loser boy living with two identities. One in real life, without friends, I cry every night, and such.
I have a wish to be a girl, but that's not something I can change in the near future. The thing is, on the internet I play that I am a girl, and I somehow got in contact with another boy and we started to talk very much, then it developed to every day talks. He was a soldier in a war when we first met and he was almost killed many times, though he said he survived because he thought of me, our talks that he needed every day. We got together and I couldn't turn him down... I fell in love with him. I know it's a very, very, very bad and hurtful thing to do, and he thought I was a girl. He still does. He is earning money to go here... But of course he won't be able to, because I am not who he thinks I am... I must tell him now, I love him, I guess I am gay, but it's just so hard... He also told me many times he can't live without me, and that he would die if we ever broke up. I don't wanna be a murderer. It's unbelievable to think someone could take their life for something like that, but he doesn't have much in life... He lives alone, not a good job and almost no family to support him.
We didn't miss a day of talking in... Many months, but I just can't keep this up anymore.
I must tell him, now... How can I? What should I do? It's the biggest mistake of my life and I never meant to hurt anyone... He always talks to me about what a great life we will have together, with kids, and all the things we will do... I just smile and play along...
HELP ME TO END THIS, IT'S EATING ME ALIVE...

[Dale Bruce]

Well, I'm just going to skip the whole..gender thing..not to be rude..but because..well we'll get to that..

I know where the other guy is coming from. I made my girlfriend my everything..she's the best thing that ever happened to me..and..she too has saved my life a few times..And now..I'm not sure what's going to happen..but it looks bad..I told her as well..that I don't know how I could live without her..

Now to you..I think you need to tell him..right now..because..if you wait any longer..it's just going to hurt him even more..I was/am saving up money to meet my love as well..and now she's confused about an ex and..anyway

He'll be angry..and..you know..that's to be expected..But it's better to know now..then to know..later when he plans on leaving..like me..Then it just hurts..a million times worse..

Trust me..it's better he knows now You'll be saving him a lot of pain

As for the gender thing..I had a friend who fell in love with a girl..who turned out to be a guy as well..He's still angry about t..but admits he's glad he was told sooner rather then later

I dunno if this helps