My fiance doesn't want a wedding ring

[MaidenMinx]

Well there's my problem for the moment summed up. My fiance and I are planning our wedding, strike that, I'm planning a wedding, he just wants to be told what to wear, where to be and what time to be there (he's such a romantic *rolls eyes*). I will admit his lack of planning involvement is making the whole thing very easy, but when I told him recently he needs to accompany me to a jewelers so we can find out his ring size and get an idea of how much it will cost us, he seemed genuinely surprised. He told me his dad never wore a wedding ring and he doesn't want to either. When I asked him why he told me that he hates jewellery (which is true. He doesn't wear anything but a watch and has never bought me jewellery - my engagement ring was a family heirloom) and he considers a work hazard, describing a situation at his day job where a co-worker nearly lost his finger getting his ring caught on something. He also claims it is an issue for his night job (he is a waiter at night, public servant -services during the day). The only issue I can see at night is he might not get as many tips from single women. I too wait tables and my engagement ring has never caused a problem

Now I want him to wear a ring simply so other women know he is off the market. I don't think I am at risk of being cheated on but he is a natural flirt and he doesn't know it. He can't tell when he is being flirted with either.

The ring issue is causing a bit of tension at the moment because neither of us are being completely accepting of the others position. While he tells me he doesn't want a ring because of work and hating jewellery I can't help but wonder if he doesn't want to have an obvious sign he's off the market.

So, am I driving myself crazy for nothing? Is him not wanting a ring reasonable? Or should I tell him to suck it up and get used to it?

[provinciano]

Sounds like his not interested in getting married
he doesnt have any sugestions of the wedding
like ok ok ok what ever you say lol

[Sixpacj]

he did agree to marrying you, didn't he? who proposed? him or you?

also, maybe you need to face reality the way it actually is and not the way it is purported in chick flicks ;-) , men do not feel the same way you do about wedding ceremonies.

[MaidenMinx]

*sigh* why didn't I anticipate a response like this? Yes he does want to marry me. He has no objection to the wedding, he just knows how detailed I get when planning things and doesn't care about the details. I could marry him barefoot, wearing a potato sack, in the middle of a field with a pig for a celebrant and he wouldn't care. So long as it's legal and we're both there he doesn't mind how it happens. And considering I'm the one who does care about the details, it makes sense that I be the one to deal with it. Jeez, he works to jobs. Next you'll be telling me it sounds like he only has one job and is spending his evenings with another woman. *shakes head*

[MaidenMinx]

he did agree to marrying you, didn't he? who proposed? him or you?

also, maybe you need to face reality the way it actually is and not the way it is purported in chick flicks ;-) , men do not feel the same way you do about wedding ceremonies.

He proposed, after being together 5 years. We've been engaged 3 years now.

We actually have about the same level of feeling about wedding ceremonies. We've chosen ridiculously short vows because neither of us want to pour our hearts out infront of an audience, yes I want to look like a princess but that's about it. I also find your reality comment odd because I'm always the one telling my friends that real life love and fairytales are 2 different things.

Maybe I should have asked instead if there are any married men here who don't wear wedding rings and what their reasoning for that was...?

[jayjay30]

my SO if we get married doesnt want to wear a ring either. his dad and his SO got tats for wedding bands instead of traditional rings.

[MaidenMinx]

my SO if we get married doesnt want to wear a ring either. his dad and his SO got tats for wedding bands instead of traditional rings.

I had had that thought, thankyou for reminding me. I just asked him and he is happy with that. Now to design tattoos.

[jayjay30]

lol your welcome. my SO wants tats but i flip out at the sight of any needles and i cant deal with pain lol.

[VincenzoG91]

Ask him if it's okay if you don't wear a wedding ring either.

[Corgan]

I love the idea of a tattoo wedding band. I think it's way more significant. So, he is okay with this idea? If so, you guys have nothing to worry about!

[vashti]

With the divorce rate being around 50%, it's pretty obvious that at least 50% of the time, a tattoo is a bad idea.

Lots of men (and some women) don't wear wedding rings. I work in a hospital, so the majority of people don't wear them because they harbor bacteria.

For the record, wearing (or not wearing) a ring will have almost NO impact on whether or not women will consider him available. That is all about his personality - not his jewelry.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

To add to vashti's point, a wedding ring increases the chances of overt sexual advances by women, in my observation. Maybe it's a deterrent to most, but there's plenty of chicks that get off on go after 'unavailable' men.

[jayjay30]

i worked a job where i couldnt wear my engagement ring for fear of it slipping into the yeast mixer.

[oldfriend]

sheesh when or if the time ever comes I'm dragging my man to vegas.

[MaidenMinx]

sheesh when or if the time ever comes I'm dragging my man to vegas.

I seriously considered that. The average Aussie wedding costs $10000! A holiday to the states and being married by elvis is cheaper. Not that I like Elvis. Also here you need to have your notice of intent to marry in 1 month and 1 day before the intended day and you need to provide 2 witnesses, and that is all over Australia. It sucks. It makes it very hard to elope.