MOVING ON?: So as time pass I feel better. I have been working into my ex a lot lately and I noticed that sometimes it will make me sad, and sometimes it won't. This is very confusing and I hope it means that I'm really moving on. The thing too is just that I still kind of want her back, but I have been thinking that maybe we are better of staying away from each other.
COLD: She does not contact me anymore, but last time I called her she did answer my phone call. For some reason I can't really explain, except that I'm trying my best not to feel anything anymore, I have been acting a bit cold with her. Sometimes I will say hi, sometimes I won't and I won't even look at her.
BETTER: Things seems to be getting stable for me. I'm moving out of this apart in two days. WOH! finally; This semester has been a nightmare. I went from been on the dean's list for the first semester to I don't know where right now. But that's alright, I intend to come back stronger for next year. Hopefully I won't get my scholarship taken away.
PLANS: I have plans with my previous roommate for this summer. It really sounds like I'll be having fun. I don't have a driver licence yet so I'll also be working of that this summer too. I'm very excited about everything. We have plans for hiking, canoeing, road trip to Florida too maybe. The only thing driving me back right now it's the fact that I need a job. Oh well, I will try really hard to get one when I get home.
GIRLS: I have been talking to these girls lately. It's weird because I like them three, and I'm so confused. There is one who goes to my school and I think she is a really nice person. She pretty and everything. We share a lot too (I'm French-Cameroonian and she is French-Moroccan). We had this kind of connection when we first met. Anyway the only problem for me it's the fact that she is Muslim and I'm Christian. I mean I grew up with a lot of Muslim and I know how it can be hard to date one. I went out for lunch and dinner several times lately, but I'm still not very sure.
The second girl goes to a college around mine. We met during a community service program on spring break. I like her style, she is pretty too, very funny and talkative. Like me, she likes to do some community service, and she is really involves in her school; for me it just shows how independent she is. It's a quality I really like. Not date yet, but we have been talking a lot lately. I still can't tell if she likes me, but we do have some kind of connection (at least that's what I think). She will be working on a school project in Siberia this summer so basically there is not plans to hang this summer. She did say that she will be calling and skyping me.
This third girl is a girl I had a crutch on back in high school. Pretty as well, from Honduras. We became friends and we have been talking a lot too. More than what we used too back in high school. We went out for dinner several times and she seems to enjoy been with me. I like her and she knows, but she is skeptical for various reasons right now. 1) She thinks I'm looking for a rebound relationship. 2) She doesn't think that she wants a long distance relationship (We are both from NYC, but I go to school in MA). 3) She doesn't want to lose our friendship.
I mean I'm a bit confused. I really think about getting into another relationship now, but I will admit that I still have the ghost of my ex hunting me down from time to time. Should I just lay back and let things happen? What should I do? Humm!