ok, this is how it's happen. let talk about me, and so I'm ugly and sometimes can be a little bitchy and a complete control freak. somehow i desperately need a boyfriend, and i know myself is quite demanding. like i said "bitchy", feel like i wanted everything. I realised that and i don't care.
so, I pray for god that let send me a godly gift. a boyfriend and said desperately, " i will accept a any guy, as long as he love me and take care of me well." no matter how he look i will just accept him, sounded cheap, i know.. however my wish do come true and a guy did like me but he happens to be 5 times fatter than me with dark skin. he is quite nice. i can't say that he is cute even thought im a chubby chaser. well, depends.. some chubby guy can be really sweet and cute but this guy, no matter how hard i try to like him i just can't. his disturbing features just annoys me. especially this two buck teeth and the thick lip, and that is just horrifies me. So, i complaining at his appearance even though he is a nice guy. it's obvious of me to be branded as "selfish".
the point is, i know myself for being selfish that i'm being picky, a bitch and cruel. i know that because it's just no matter how hard i try to like him it's just make me hate him more. i already show the signs i dont like him and he still keep doing it. he still say that he like me which i hate it. is like, god have given me the wrong guy and at the same time my frens telling me that beggar cant be chosers. BUT, he is just NOT MY TYPE!!!
how am i going to like him if i keep focusing his 2 buck teeth and that damn thick lips. i know he is nice but it makes my hair stand eveytime i imagining me with him. is not like i'm aiming for hot guys or cute guys. I know i have to look at his inner beauty, the word "selfish" keep flashing in my mind.
question is.. am i just plain bitchy, selfish, picky, desperate? or just plain idiot?
please give me some feedback, i actually feel very say about this. picky and selfish at the same time. actually, i dun have the need to see him anymore since i have change my job. this happens when i meet him at work, he is a commis and i'm a trainee in a chinese kitchen. if someone say that i should give him another chance, i will say 100% NO to it. because, i've tried. nothing is working, he's just not my type.