My fiance doesn't want a wedding ring

[girl68]

Mine doesn't really want one but is settling on a carbon fibre ring (he's a car guy). I guess I prefer him to wear one but at the same time if he truly didn't want one I wouldn't push it.

I 100% agree that women will hit on married men with rings just as much and sometimes even more when they see a band. It's called a CHALLENGE.

[MaidenMinx]

Vashti, you make some good points. As I am a person that would never chase a man wearing a ring I guess I assumed that other women would be like that too. Immature Theory Of Mind strikes again. I actually had a 'duh' moment when I realised that if the majority of women never went for married men there would be a lot less affairs.
i'd also like to adress your point about tattoo rings and explain why I am confident in them. I expect I'll be called naive but sh*t happens.
A few years ago, when our son was diagnosed with Autism my fiance and I hit a really rough patch. I honestly didn't think we'd make it. Then one day in a dr's office I read an article that opened my eyes so much I had to steal the magazine the article was in to show my partner. The article was written by a woman who felt like she had grown apart from her husband of 14 years. They had started discussing seperation and divorce. She had to go on a business trip and they decided they would determine where they were headed when she got back. While she was away she met a male client. He was in his 60's and had been married for 40 years. He and his wife were also going through a rough patch and he expressed a worry that he didn't know what to do. The writer sat there expecting the man to then say he had found someone else or was going to look into divorce lawyers. Instead he said "I know what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to leave or find amusement with another woman. I love my wife and when I married her it was for better or for worse. My eyes were blinded to all others and all the exits were sealed shut. When you marry there is no out." He then went on to say that from what he could see of modern relationships too many went into marriage thinking 'well if it doesn't work, I can get divorced'. he sincerely believes that this kind of thinking is what ends most relationships. Things get hard and people want out. When things get hard you need to work harder.
My finace and I discussed this article and it's implications at length. We both decided he had a point. That day we sealed the exits. For us, there is no out, just forward. And sh*t, if we can get through illness, death, disability and huge money issues, well we can get through anything.

[MaidenMinx]

Mine doesn't really want one but is settling on a carbon fibre ring (he's a car guy). I guess I prefer him to wear one but at the same time if he truly didn't want one I wouldn't push it.

I 100% agree that women will hit on married men with rings just as much and sometimes even more when they see a band. It's called a CHALLENGE.

I had considered a range of rings, but now that I know he is happy to be tattooed, I'm happy too. Let's see how he feels about it when I've made the appointment. :p
Also, when it comes to the challenge aspect, I was told that abput guys when I first got engaged and I have found the opposite to be true. I used to get flirted with all the time, not so much anymore. Maybe it's me that changed when I started wearing it, or maybe it's the fact that I fiddle with it ALL the time. *shurgs*

[girl68]

Also, when it comes to the challenge aspect, I was told that abput guys when I first got engaged and I have found the opposite to be true. I used to get flirted with all the time, not so much anymore. Maybe it's me that changed when I started wearing it, or maybe it's the fact that I fiddle with it ALL the time. *shurgs*

Nononono this doesn't apply AT all the other way. Applies to men with rings not women with rings...

[vashti]

he sincerely believes that this kind of thinking is what ends most relationships. Things get hard and people want out. When things get hard you need to work harder.
My finace and I discussed this article and it's implications at length. We both decided he had a point. That day we sealed the exits. For us, there is no out, just forward. And sh*t, if we can get through illness, death, disability and huge money issues, well we can get through anything.

No offense my young friend, but EVERYONE starts out like this; but then, life happens.

[MaidenMinx]

Vashti, I both agree and disagree. People often say they think there is no out, but then they give up. If you notice a distance growing, bridge the gap! If stress occurs, accept that your partner is an individual and will deal with it differently. Never ever ever argue about money. Keep common interests common. Allow each other space to be individuals. Do things together. I really do think people often seen to think "*Sigh* it's too much work. I'll find it easier somewhere else". Please bear in mind I am not referring to relationships where any sort of abuse or basic incompatibly is a reason for getting out.

I know I am still young, and I know I have a lot to learn. I know I come off as naively optimistic. The truth of the matter is, while I know our futures aren't going to be sunshine and lollipops all the time, I strongly believe we have forever ahead of us. I also believe we have all the right reasons to stay together and we have an arsenal of strategies for dealing with the crap life is likely to pull. We're currently 6 weeks away from our 8th anniversary, we work everyday at making things better and learning more about each other. Not that I plan on giving everyone a full relationship history let me just say that we have dealt with unexpected pregnancy, then a premmie baby (with Oxygen and feeding tube). We got through that to have his dad die, his sister take us for everything she could. We get through that to find out that our son has autism. It's been hard, but it all brings us together more.

[pisces25]

What if one of you just falls out of love?

[MaidenMinx]

What if one of you just falls out of love?

It is my belief that no one just falls out of love. You let it happen. It is a slow process that can be reversed with hard work, dedication and commitment. You don't just wake up one morning saying 'wow! I don't love you anymore. I did yesterday but today, all gone. Adios' You have to let things get to you first, pick them apart from a negative aspect. It's all about perspective. Keep accentuating the positive and the negative can't take hold.

[VincenzoG91]

MaidenMinx, I don't love you anymore.

[MaidenMinx]

MaidenMinx, I don't love you anymore.

Nawwww!! And I didn't even get to find out you did to begin with. hahaha hehehe!

[CAM]

I wouldn't wear a wedding ring. My fingers are thin and a ring wouldn't look very good. My father doesn't wear a wedding ring and he hasn't strayed from my mother. A ring won't stop a guy from straying if he's going to stray.

[url=http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/this-diamond-ring-gary-lewis-and-the-playboys-cover/fb5695ee867fbde8a410fb5695ee867fbde8a410-892676473730?q=this+diamond+ring&FROM=LKVR5&GT1=LK VR5&FORM=LKVR1]This Diamond Ring - Gary Lewis and the Playboys Cover - Bing Videos[/url]

[surfhb]

but there's plenty of chicks that get off on go after 'unavailable' men.

Yep! knew a guy once who would flirt with girls wearing a fake ring. Worked many times for him