Hi everyone, I'm just new here, and would appreciate any advice.
Basically a couple of months ago I broke up with my ex boyfriend - we were together for over three years. Things were a bit stale, and I wasn't happy, nothing bad really happened as such but I have since discovered I'm depressed; unhappy with everything in life, more so without him. I'm going to have counselling. I was relying on him too much to keep me happy and that was unfair, and unreasonable.
The more I think about it the more I see what a good boyfriend he was; I just had my own personal problems; I became overly sensitive and highly strung, and felt insecure. Not that he done anything to cause this; he was always singing praises about me and complimenting me all of the time. I've come to realise what a good thing I let go, and I really don't think it's the rose tinted glasses effect. I am realising now how lots of things were my fault.
I still love him and have written him a letter pouring my heart out; apologising for everything, and showing my feelings. I'm debating whether to send it or not - would it upset him? Would it annoy him? I've spoken to him since we broke up and there's no beef, he still likes me and is very friendly too.
Another reason I'm torn about sending it is there's another guy who is interested. I like him too, we've spent time together and he always makes me laugh and is very sweet. But lately I can't stop thinking of my ex. But it wouldn't be right to post my ex the letter on the sly, I'd feel sneaky and like I was betraying the other guy. And what if I sent it but changed my mind after? The new guy is lovely but lately it's my ex that's been on my mind.
What do you think I should do?
I've thought about taking time out, but I'm worried that the longer I leave it the more chance there is of me losing him (the ex) forever; to someone else, or even if he moves on and doesn't want to look back. It's already been two months; though I realise that isn't THAT long to have broken up, I don't want to leave it too long... arg... I dunno! Please help!
Thanks for reading. xo