Did she want to go out?

[xilulus]

My name is fred. We're friends at work. She's shown some friendly interest, but nothing really romantic. She hates action movies, so when some mutual friends went to the movie theatre last night, I assumed she wouldn't be coming. When I got to the movie theatre, I got this text from her:

Her: Fred fred fred fred... did you have dinner already? Hahahah.
Me: I'm actually at the movie theatre right now waiting to go see suckerpunch
Her: Ohhhh. Hahaha. I should have guess it. I thought since everyone else was out watching it that I'd ask you if you wanted to grab something to eat because I'm starving and not interested in sitting alone eating. So in that case I'll stay put and take a nap bc I'm also super sleepy. Have a good night!
Me: Aww.. Too bad. I would have liked that. Maybe some other time!
Her: Sure. Enjoy the movie.

Was she asking me out and then backpedalled, or was this just a harmless one-time asking to eat dinner together?

Should I ask her out now? If she was interested, I don't want to look like i'm disinterested. But if she's not interested, I don't want to look like I am trying to get a date out of it. Thoughts?

[imagineallthe]

She seems pretty interested to me Especially the whole "not interested in eating alone"-bit. That's so typical. And why, of all people watching the movie, would she ask you in particular? It's a good sign either way. She played it very cool when you described the movie situation and she writes the exact way I would too if I was interested in getting to know someone a bit more=) Don't stress it and don't worry, text her some time and suggest coffee or something one day but don't ask her for dinner because: 1) she may have only been very friendly this time and 2) a coffee is innocent and a safe way to ask her out for dinner if the dynamic is right.

(She may also have known you were at the cinema with the others, but asked you just to show you that she's interested, and that way she wouldn't get hurt either if you said no because there'd be a valid reason anyway. If she knew you weren't at the movies, asking you out would probably be a bit more frightening. But that's more me. Haha, so it's just a theory)

[xilulus]

If that theory is correct, then that's brilliant. She did text me 5 minutes before the time the rest of us were scheduled to meet up for the movie, which is pretty weird, but that might just have been a coincidence.

[xilulus]

So since that conversation we've been chatting a lot more and spending more time together at work. But the conversation has remained friendly and non-romantic. Any other thoughts or signs I should look for?

[imagineallthe]

did you ask her out? And by signs, what signs is she giving you? Anyone can play the friend-game and still be interested, pay attention to where her eyes go=) There's no guarantee though, but it's a good sign in itself that you are spending more time together at work. Did you ever call her back on the coffee or something? If I asked a guy for dinner, and he simply said: "aw, I'd love that. maybe another time", I would start to analyze it. Just using the word "awww" in itself would make me feel like I was being pittied or something, not pittied in the strong sense of the word, but being let down very gently. "Maybe another time" can also sound harsh if she liked you. Don't ask why, but guys always writes short and clear, sometimes it's hard to understand if there is a true emotion there at all. She could have just accepted that; oh well, he didn't seem too interested.

You have nothing to lose for asking her for out for coffee. If she says no, it could be because of a possible complicated work situation if you two got closer, she could have lost interest, I mean it can be anything. She asked you out for dinner for gods sake.. If she really didn't know you were going to the movies, then it's still pretty sweet to "steal" you from the crowd and spend time with you during a meal, knowing that the rest of them would be busy=)

[devonbrown]

Here is the biggest sign to look for - When you ask her out, see if she says yes. If she does, she is interested.

Good luck.

[xilulus]

Update: Well, we are really close now. She's shared secrets with me that she hasn't told anyone else, and I have done likewise. We text basically every day, go grocery shopping together, have lunch and dinner together often (just us). Basically we do like everything that a couple would do... except be intimate.

I am worried that we are doing it all under the context of being friends instead of it heading towards a relationship.

She often tells me about how she is having no luck with other guys and is "ok with not dating for a while". This is what throws me. I am like... what about me?

We see each other every day at work and have a bunch of mutual friends. I dont want to make any of that awkward. How do I show her that I want our relationship to be more intimate without ruining our ultra-close friendship?

[xilulus]

You know, to be honest, what I really want more than a relationship is resolution, one way or the other, without awkwardness afterwards.

How do I phrase it if she says shes not interested? I dont want to make her feel bad or awkward, especially since given how close our group of friends is, we'll probably see each other the next day. So I want to say something that lets her know that we can continue as if this never happened. What do I say?