I just want some advice from an outside perspective; as I don't like to spread my business with people who may know her. Background- I dated this girl in November/December, I'm 27, shes 28.... she left for a month, dated a "friend", I ignored her, and then she begged me to give her a second chance. I did, like a fool really. February and March were just amazing, we were getting to know each other, everything was so spontaneous.... I met her whole family too, etc... Everybody said no one has ever treated her as I had before. I kind of see why, even when things were well I was still trying to understand her issues (see below). As late as late march we were making summer plans, trips, etc. Just 3 weeks ago or so she was sending me messages telling me how amazing I am, told me she didnt know how she got so lucky, etc. In very early April, I asked her to be my girlfriend, the defining the relationship talk so to speak. She agreed, if somewhat tepidly.... said she had to work on issues, she has trouble getting close. I knew that, shes had a lot of things in her past, loss and sadness, and I knew about that. She does, I believe it, but I also feel like its a crutch to avoid getting closer to me, its not right.

Anyways, the last month we still hung out, did everything we always did (and of course I did it with a smile on my face).... but something wasn't right. She stopped texting, calling, etc... immediately became distant.

Well, last week she told me she didnt feel like she could be in a serious relationship, we barely know each other, she can't handle the expectations that come along with the title. Come to find out, she did this to the previous guy too, dont know the full story but i dont think he lasted as long. Then kind of hinted she still wanted to see me... ok, whatever, I can deal, I dont think I can fix ppl but I felt like I could deal with issues. Said she need to work on things (which youll see is BS below) Honestly, I didnt want things to feel "serious".... I get it. If shed have explicitly said lets not take it there yet, i would have been fine with it.

BUT.... not 5 days later I saw her at a concert with another guy and (she had told me she was going out of town), pretty sure the one from that month in the winter.... Such shock, and I was honestly a wreck with all I'd been drinking. I dont mean I cried or anything- not going to do something like that there, but I just didnt know what to say when i pulled her aside. I said she quit and walled herself off (she does that sometimes, but to use it as an excuse is pretty poor). She said I could think what I wanted to think. and I asked her why she was doing this again... she said there was just "something missing" and "people date all the time", wasnt anything I did, etc... did not want to talk, just trying to get away the whole time.

Well about three weeks ago, she had 'forgotten' to call back one night.... sent me a message the next morning saying she grabbed some beers with "an old friend". Then a couple weeks later she couldnt get together because of "dinner with a friend". I connected to dots after I woke up after the concert.... just really underhanded, to do that to someone while they are going full steam in what they thought was a relationship. Looks like the first time she met this guy again was 4 days after I asked her to be my GF!

Heres my problem. I was mad, I am, and I know I deserve to be. Part of me just feels sorry for her. And even though I deserve to be mad, why do I still like her? Ive NEVER been the kind of person to feel this way. Other situations or possible situations like this, I would have immediately forgotten about the girl and deleted her from my phone. Why do I feel such an unconditional compassion for her?? I know I don't deserve this and I dont want to live with this all the time..... And even if she came back again... I'd have to try to have the strength not to go at it a third time. Problem is, this girl really hurt me, and I just want to say something about it. I really feel like I want to for closures sake. Should I?? Or is it better to just not say anything, since I'm not the one who looks bad here...

thanks