First post, first heartbreak, need to vent

[jstr88]

I guess I should start this by saying that I'm a late bloomer. We met when I was 14- the first boy that I spoke to in high school. We were friends, went to separate colleges and then met up again when he was in grad school. A romance bloomed-- the first for me, really. He broke up with me after 2.5 years, a miscarriage occurred during this time and I had a nervous breakdown. We got back together, though now he contends that this really didn't happen. A lot of stuff happened in the last two years-- 3 deaths in the family, my mom got cancer, and recently my father has his own cancer scare. I guess my priorities shifted and I didn't pay much attention to him. He wasn't pleased with that-- apparently, for 2 years, he was really unhappy but never really vocalized it.

Early March, he started clubbing and met a girl. For a month, I didn't have a clue about it. He says now that he didn't want to tell me about her right away because it was around the time that my father started having issues with his health. He now says that he probably would have told me about her once we got the test results back and found out that things were benign. In the end he doesn't have many answers. I can't begin to truly understand his motivation because I'm still shocked that despite all of our history together, he would treat me in this way.

We've spoken sporadically in the last few weeks, the latest phone call occurring yesterday. I basically told him to give us another chance, with him saying that it doesn't seem like it would work and that I didn't give him the attention that he needed. I apologized for that and have taken responsibility for that fact, but he's just unable to get past it. He wants what he wants. He thinks that I'm trying to manipulate him by telling him how I really felt about him all this time-- he says that I'm only doing it because this girl popped up. You would think that after YEARS with this guy, he'd know how much I felt for him. His version of our story is completely different-- in more flowerly terms, he referred to me as his **** buddy for the last two years. And this girl, this stranger that he barely knows? After a month, he's already referring to her as his girlfriend. I am beside myself by this.

I don't know what I hope to glean from posting this here. I guess I just need to get it off my chest and maybe if anybody out there is going through something similar, you could write back with advice, criticism, whatever. I'm so hurt and feel so very lost.

[Dune]

I must say you're going through a lot. Am really sorry to hear about all the sad things that's been happening in your life. For what it's worth, I hope things will get better. Hey, if he's blaming you for the lack of attention, it's really not your fault. You already have a lot on your hands and he should understand that. Really, don't take it so hard.

He sounds immature and I see many red flags waving about him. Even the way you refer to him gives the impression that he's quite a pain. IMO, you don't deserve this crap. Focus on your own issues/your family and work on those things that matters most. This dude ain't worth much coz he don't understand what you're going through.

[Cat&Dog]

Dune is rigt. He is not the one you want, you deserve someone better. You dont need a crying baby who constantly need your attention. You need someone who is mature, who loves you and stand by you when you are in the difficult situation, as now. Let him go, he is not good enough for you !

[jstr88]

thanks for responding, you guys. it's been a tough time for me and it really helps to hear people being encouraging about this.