Why am i not hurting anymore?

[HereComesTheSun]

So long story short, me and my boyfriend were having problems. He was becoming jealous and controlling and had been getting physically and emotionally abusive. I go into more details in my recent threads..
This past friday he became particularly nasty, calling me horrible names for no reason. That night he went out and apparently got with another girl. I had no idea until the next day when my friend messaged me and told me he had seen them together.. I was completely devastated. Words cannot describe the pain i felt about it..

It only got worse the next night when i saw him all over her again. It cut me so deep i even had thoughts about taking my life.. On sunday i woke up feeling terrible, didnt want to get out of bed until my family came over and i had to.
Through the day i had such a great time, with friends and family i completely forgot about it. Not to mention amazing advice from people on here helped me alot too.
Now just 2 days later, i feel great. Not feeling at all down. I even feel kind of relieved and happy about everything and most important i feel accepting of what has happened.

I keep wondering, where did my sadness go? I thought for sure i would be devastated for a while. But i dont feel a thing.. Almost numb and oblivious to what has gone on.
Is this normal? I am expecting to go through bad days and feel down about things from time to time, but i can fully think about my ex and not feel anything, not jealousy, not love..
I am beginning to wonder if i ever really loved him. lol

Is this normal? Or am i just blocking it out for now and its all going to hit me in time? Im confused but grateful at the same time. I know i dont deserve to feel like sh*t over this horrible relationship.

[pisces25]

You are probably feeling relieved more than anything that you don't have to put up with his bullshit anymore. Congratulations for getting out of the relationship.
If you are worried you haven't dealt with the problems sufficiently maybe see a counsellor so your problems don't surface down the track or affect any relationships you may have in the future.

[HereComesTheSun]

You are probably feeling relieved more than anything that you don't have to put up with his bullshit anymore. Congratulations for getting out of the relationship.
If you are worried you haven't dealt with the problems sufficiently maybe see a counsellor so your problems don't surface down the track or affect any relationships you may have in the future.

I think thats the main deal here, its been 2 days now. I havent been called a sl*t, whore. b*tch... Its quite nice. lol I just feel more appreciated all in all, i feel i have more friends for some reason. Its hard to explain.. But i dont feel as lonely as i did when i was with him. Weird how that works eh?
Im hoping that i am dealing with things appropriately.. I have began to look at things in a different way. Instead of looking at it in a way of i was losing someone i loved, my best friend. I realised he isnt my best friend.. and that everything happens for a reason. That i am meant to be with someone else, not in this kind of relationship.
I dont know. It just kind of feels weird to me. Iv thought of nothing except the problems with my boyfriend since last October. Now its just not bothering me at all and life seems so simple all of a sudden.

The only thing i am experiencing is sleeping difficulties..
I have been having horrible nightmares since saturday. Nothing about him, just scary dreams overall. To the point im forcing myself out of my dreams.. To this certain state, where i feel awake, i feel i can see my bedroom as if i was fully awake, but i cannot for the life of me move? Its like i am paralyzed completely and cannot talk.. But can only hear and see. Its quite scary at the time. I had it a few times before i fell asleep fully on sunday, but last night i had it happen over and over, for around 4 hours until it didnt happen again.
Im not sure what is causing this.. Anybody experienced anything like this before? I asked my coworker today and she had never felt it before.. lol

[bluesummer]

I think at first when you get out of a horrible relationship, you just feel hurt and forget about what an awful person they are. Then you spend a few days without the negativity and it feels so GOOD you can't be sad about it. That's a very good sign, very positive. If you were a sobbing wreck, THAT would be a bad sign.

[HereComesTheSun]

I think at first when you get out of a horrible relationship, you just feel hurt and forget about what an awful person they are. Then you spend a few days without the negativity and it feels so GOOD you can't be sad about it. That's a very good sign, very positive. If you were a sobbing wreck, THAT would be a bad sign.

I think that is what it is. My life is just so stress free!!! I wish i would have listened to my friends earlier.. I would have never imagined myself feeling like this. I had a pang of jealousy today, the girl he actually was with on friday came through my work today..I had to serve her and be relatively civilised. I felt a little anger when i saw her.. but it lasted about an hour and then it was over. It was almost like a test.. Strange.

Thanks

[MerryH]

I keep wondering, where did my sadness go? I thought for sure i would be devastated for a while. But i dont feel a thing.. Almost numb and oblivious to what has gone on.
Is this normal?

I don't know if it's normal or healthy, but I felt the exact same way when I got out. It's been years and I still haven't experienced any sadness over it. Just relief, I guess. Similarly to you, something kind of terrible happened at the end, which I'm strangely grateful for. That incident helped me snap out of it and made it so much easier to leave for good.

It's really great that you're in a good place now where you know people appreciate, support, and love you. Never give that up.

i feel awake, i feel i can see my bedroom as if i was fully awake, but i cannot for the life of me move? Its like i am paralyzed completely and cannot talk.

I've heard of this. It sounds terrible. [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis]Sleep paralysis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url]

Edit: About that other girl (or any other girl who has the misfortune of being involved with him) - don't feel jealousy, feel empathy for her because she's probably going to go through the same thing you did with him.

[HereComesTheSun]

Thanks MerryH, that is exactly how i feel. Im almost glad that he cheated on me in a way! It just gave me all the strength to leave him. Something i havnt been able to do for over 6 months now.
And yes i read that link it sounds exactly the same.. Its completely terrifying, and it happened to me almost 7 times in that night. I would have the nightmare, wake up and couldnt move and was hearing things. Ugh.. Last night i had an awesome sleep though!

My girlfriend used to give me this advice all the time, to feel sympathy for any other girl he got with instead of jealousy.. I used to think 'shutup, you have no idea how it feels, its impossible to not feel jealous over something like that'. But now i totally do feel like that. I can easily think of him with another girl and not feel the anger and pain i used to feel. I just think, whatever, you can deal with it now!
You know, i used to wish and pray everynight that i would stop loving him, that i would stop feeling this pain over and over everyday.. I just feel like my prayers have been answered. That a switch has gone off in my head and i dont feel anything for him anymore. It feels like i have been away from him for years i cant even remember what he looks like anymore..
Its just insane, but i am so happy about it all. I guess my time of misery has finally come to an end. Im so happy, i could cry, i could cry about it like it was a miracle. lol!!