help!!! does he fancy me or are we friends??

[emmaman]

hi everyone im new to this site so please be patient.

Ok here goes....could be a long one lol

i have recently split with my husband (beginnng of april 2011) , we were together for 12 yrs and have 2 young children and things just got borring and we fell out of love with each other. Were still on talking terms and hes still helping me out with things with money etc till i get myself sorted, iv lost a very good man but unfortunately these things happen. Anyway in the mean time one of our male friends (was my husbands mate to begin with but over the years was more my mate) has taken a shine to me or atleast i think he has. You see this is where it gets confussing!! When this male friend went through his divorce a few yrs ago i was there for him with advice about his ex and advice about seeing his child etc... and now it seems hes repaying it by helping me out etc... anyway last week he text me and asked if i fancy going for a walk with him and if i fancied going to the health suite at his local gym to help me relax and get out the house. I went along and spent the day with him and had lunch after which was really nice of him. He also keeps sending texts every few days saying works really slow and has some time to kill so thought he would drop me a text to see how i am. But im TOTALLY confussed does he think of me as a mate would or does he fancy me?? I picked up on some telltale signs that he fancied me....looking deep into my eyes when talking and not looking away, making me laugh, respectful of not looking at me when im in my swimming cossie (but he could of looked when i wasnt looking at him lol), asking me indepth questions. Thing is i do really like this guy and have secretly done for a few yrs and was rather chuffed that he asked me out to cheer me up but was that all it was?? just to cheer me up?? he said we can go out for a walk again once weather is better or maybe for a few drinks. Im also wary that this guy was my husbands mate although he was more of a mate through a mate and him and my ex husband didnt really get on that much....what do you guys think??? PLEASE HELP! thank you

[mbartelsm]

Don't do anything, you have just split with your husband after 12 years of marriage, the worst thigh you could do right now is to take these kind of decisions, wait a couple of months, if he really likes you you will notice over this period of time, plus you will be thinking a little more straight than right now.

[emmaman]

no im definately not going to make any decision just yet. I just want a blokes point of view as to whether he fancys me or if he just wants to be mates so i know if i should back off or not. I dont want to be ignorring his texts and visits if he is just there for me as a mate. Thank you

[jb1111983]

I'd think he's into you. That's how I am with this girl I'm really into. We also started as mates and it's a little complicated so I'm taking it slow.

I don't think you need to back off as yet until he makes it known to you that he's into you. Until that happens take it as his texts and visits are just his way of showing he's there as a mate. But I think there's more to it

[Mathias]

no im definately not going to make any decision just yet. I just want a blokes point of view as to whether he fancys me or if he just wants to be mates so i know if i should back off or not. I dont want to be ignorring his texts and visits if he is just there for me as a mate. Thank you

Of course he does. But you shouldn't do anything about it right now, or for a while.

[ShellyZ]

Can I just say, I love the generous use of the words "bloke, fancy, and mate." Makes me smile. :-) I only recently learned what "bumming a fag" means in England. It was an awkward situation.

Carry on.

[Kilocake]

He might just want to be your friend. I have a friend that I used to like but now we are just friends and we still sort of have chemistry. I would say most likely this guy does like you though, and just I don't know, when you feel more comfortable maybe see if he wants to do something more romantic like go to a fancy dinner or something. My money (though I am only speculating on the facts as they're arrayed) is on he probably likes you, but you've been friends for so long and the mild awkwardness that you mentioned with him being your husbands friend before might be on his mind as well. I'd say just gradually increase things (if you want to) and if you don't get any signals, you probably know.

[emmaman]

Can I just say, I love the generous use of the words "bloke, fancy, and mate." Makes me smile. :-) I only recently learned what "bumming a fag" means in England. It was an awkward situation.

Carry on.

reading this has just made my day, thank you hahaha x

And to everyone else that has replied, thank you too. I was thinking maybe he did like me but hes keeping his distance just for now till iv been on my own for a little while and there is that slight problem about him being my ex husbands friend before... Ill see how it goes but i think ill just remain freinds for the moment and if he wants to treat me to cheer me up then i will let him hehehe like everyone has said until i know for definate the nature of his true feelings i wont chase him. Thanks guys x