How do I get over my ex? I'm going nuts.

[Kilocake]

So, I posted on the main category before about how to get my ex back, I tried everything shy of going all the way to Arkansas to invade her personal space (I offered it though) and I know she won't do it. It just will never happen, I don't know why, whatever. All I want to know is how can I stop thinking about her? I miss her so much but It just serves to make me sick and nervous. There's nothing wrong with me, I'm not a creep or generally obsessive, I just need to move on but I don't know how.

[Cinnabella]

How long have you broken up? You need to take some time to cool yourself down. It takes time...

[Kilocake]

7 weeks now. I thought I was over it, then I started thinking it all over more and more so I tried to open dialogue and she's just not receptive. It's hard because the person who seemed the most into me ever is now so cold about it. Well anyway, that's a digression. I need to stop thinking about her but it's not just a switch to flip.

[Cinnabella]

You will have many times that you would think you were over her.. but it returns, so It's not unusual. Just be^ strong. 

[Kilocake]

That's good advice, I guess I can't just get a lobotomy or anything. Still I almost wish I could.

[Boisdevie]

Time my friend. It just takes time.
Or as I found out for myself, find somebody else to have crazy sex with

[Cinnabella]

Well i disagree about crazy sex, i think nobody should give the pain to somebody else this way, except those girls want one night stand! Don't use anyone for rebound either, you will be stronger after this.

I had been there, so upset, i know it's only 7 weeks and you just need more time to heal and it will be fading. Try to keep yourself busy, at least with work and friends. Despite whatever you do, you still need to be patient coz one day you will feel better than at the present a lot. I was there :-).

[MartinSL]

I'm going through the exact same thing and trust me I know. The person you love the most, cherrish the most, also brings you the deepest pain and getting through that is no small task. People say time will fix it and it will, but I know that doesn't help at all. It's been 3 weeks for me that I got dumped and I still think about her everyday. The worst weeks of my life. She also became very cold to me, almost like I'm a stranger now. It's all very difficult to accept but the first step to moving on is to stop talking to her. I know how hard it is, you just want to hear her voice. Somewhere you still have hopes or just by pure habbit, you need her in your life. The thing is you don't, and the soonest you realize that and stop contacts, the better. As long as you still feel something for her, everytime you will talk to her it's only going to bring you back to square one and you will have to go through everything again.

What I'm trying to do these days, as I am still not over it yet, is staying outside my appartment as much as possible. Whether it be seeing friends, family, work out at the gym, work, driving around, go jogging, whatever, it doesn't matter. Just don't stay inside, all by yourself. It might feel like it's not you, that you're just forcing that upon you. That's how it felt for me. But you need to break habbits, get back in touch with people you lost on the way, anything but staying in, alone. You will soon notice that the life without her you never thought you could live actually isn't that impossible. Soon your feelings for her will start to fade and eventually you will be completely healed. Like I said... I'm not there yet myself... but I can finally start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I found that posting on this site also helps getting stuff off your chest. There will be times where all you want is talk to her. Don't. Post it on here, there is a thread opened just for that. It helped me get through the hardest days. There are also other forums out there on the web that can help when you feel depressed and have darker thoughts. Don't hesitate to use them. I have and I am still amazed how much it helped me to get through my own issues.

[Purrzzzzzz]

just letting you know that you are not alone.. I am in the same situation..

[Purrzzzzzz]

martin, could you direct us to that thread? where when all you want to do is talk to them.. (I am new here today)

[MartinSL]

It's the firts sticky at the top of the page: ''Post here instead of contacting your ex!''.

Been using it everyday since I joined and it really helped out.

[confusius]

I'm not a creep or generally obsessive, I just need to move on but I don't know how.

I feel you on this. I'm not a creep either, but the stuffs I did after the break up were just not my personality. Don't feel bad about it. Those things happen; realize the things that you did that you wouldn't normally do and focus on been yourself again. It's crazy how after a break up we tend to forget to take care of ourselves, throw our dignity out of the window, and find it hard to stick to our principles of life. Be strong, show some love for yourself (remember it's all about you; not her) and things will slowly get better.

[Purrzzzzzz]

YESSSSS!!! I feel so pathetic.. crawling after someone who doesnt love me anymore.. begging him to give me what no longer exists...

[DarkHelmet82]

I feel you man.. heres what im doing and its working. I do mental excercises. I imagine the most peaceful and awesome situation possible and think of that whenever thoughts of her creep in. In the place.. you are now BEING YOU and living life in peace. I was letting my mind control me... but remember YOU CONTROL your thoughts. Stop thinking, i hope this helps.

One more thing and ill give you an example... im sure there are people you know who keep trying to have kids.. and no matter what they do they cant have any.. They stop trying and then BAM, shes pregnant... what im trying to say is, just let it be and when you arent looking or expecting anything, good things happen. When one door closes another one opens, and it could be the same door.. but THINKING about it is bad. Just live in the moment.