Do you make pros/cons lists about your SO?

[toshiba]

Not written down, but in your head? I know... the first thing that comes to mind... "if you are doing that you shouldn't be together", bla, bla, bla.

But, unless you are head-over-heels you have to weigh/compare things somehow. I tend to do this with everything though.

[curiousgurl29]

Yes, I do! hahah.. But, yeah... I wouldn't want someone to make a pros/cons list of me! I want someone to love my flaws because it makes me the unique, quirky person I am! And sometimes, the same "flaws" are also virtues!

For example, one might say a boyfriend can be "immature", but a pro may be that he is "young at heart"! It's all in how you look at it

[surfhb]

To me that's kind of an asshole attitude. Ive never thought about the pros and cons of people I hold dear.

[SwampDonkey47]

On a couple of occasions it's helped me to look at whether or not a relationship is worthwhile. We all want love but there's few of us that would accept it at any price. Once the pain exceeds the pleasure it's time to quit but you have to be sure and one of the ways to make your mind up is to look at the balance. Sadly, it's not that simple as I have learnt. For example, having that drop dead gorgeous smile that melts your heart may make up for lots and lots of bad behaviour so only a few positives can cancel out a large number of negatives. It depends on the importance you attach to each.

To me that's kind of an asshole attitude. Ive never thought about the pros and cons of people I hold dear.

[VincenzoG91]

There was an episode of Friends where Ross was making pro/con lists comparing his new girlfriend Julie and his ex-girlfriend Rachel. In every single way on his list, Julie was better than Rachel. But he loved Rachel more, so he dumped Julie.

[noerrorsfound]

No, but I once did that with an actual list to compare an ex-girlfriend who broke up with me and wanted me back, and another girl who I met and became interested in during the breakup.

I only see the pro-con list as a decision making tool. I'm not trying to decide between girlfriends right now so I've never thought of that. Seems like you'd be weighing pros and cons if you're already not quite satisfied.

[toshiba]

Seems like you'd be weighing pros and cons if you're already not quite satisfied.

Exactly.

On a couple of occasions it's helped me to look at whether or not a relationship is worthwhile. We all want love but there's few of us that would accept it at any price. Once the pain exceeds the pleasure it's time to quit but you have to be sure and one of the ways to make your mind up is to look at the balance. Sadly, it's not that simple as I have learnt.

Yes, this is how I think too. The problem is, it dictates my effort put into the relationship. She wants A,B,C,D,E. The negatives I see make me want to provide A, but no more.