I don't understand his reaction?

[meowww]

Hey guys,

I've been in a serious relationship with my bf for 2 years, and it's been full of rolercoasters but mostly good times. We live separately but always have daily contact, either by seeing each other or by phone. This week though, it's been kind of crazy. He's been working a lot, and hasn't called me on his break like he usually does. It's ok, I'm completely fine with it. I'm not going to harp on him and nag him for it. I know he's busy this week, so I decided instead of waiting for his call I'm going to go out and keep myself busy. So for 4 straight days I did my thing, I hung out with the girls, I went downtown and took pics of the city with my fellow photographer. I watched the fireworks. I went to the gym and signed up for kick boxing classes. Basically I had fun and kept myself really busy!

Today he called but I accidentaly missed it. I called him back within the hour and immediately heard the negativity in his voice. I asked maybe something is wrong at home or at work but he said everything's fine. Then he said that today he's free so he can come see me. The thing is I had already made plans with a friend to watch the finale of American Idol and then hit up the gym after. So I told him unfortunately I had already made plans. His voice got even more depressed and negative.

Then I told him, "You know what, on the other hand, I haven't seen you in a while, and I miss you, so why don't you come after American Idol finishes and I will just go to the gym tomorrow?" long pause... then he said, "no I changed my mind".... and then quickly made an excuse to get off the phone....

So.... I am so confused... did I do something wrong? Did he expect me to just drop my plans just because he is all of a sudden free tonight, after not calling me for almost a week?

[jorkki]

Sounds like your bf is the type of guy that likes to feel wanted. you didn't call him for 4 days, then when you missed this call then phoned him back, and told him you made other arrangements it might look to him like you had made other plans on purpose. he might have seen it as you putting him second and felt abit rejected. just my 2 cent

[SwampDonkey47]

You've clearly not found the right balance between what you both want yet. The problem with living apart is that everything develops so slowly and even after 2-years you will still be working each other out. Perhaps he's a little insecure and was not calling to see if you would make an effort - which you didn't! Lessons are learnt in relationships from testing each other, often subconsciously. When you live apart you can't just get together for a coffee and a hug, you don't get the sexy smile each day or catch them looking longingly at you, you don't get the loving brush of skin against skin so unless everything is said, you have nothing. This can obviously be a problem, like you're not really with anyone. He's just pissed off because you didn't speak and I suggest he will get over it. You need to establish some ground rules so he's not expecting what he's not going to get and you aren't going to be letting him down, and vice versa.