How can I know my ex loves me?

[behrooz_a]

Hi,

I'm a 28 years old man living in Sweden. I'm in a very confusing situation, and I need your help.

I started a relationship 2 years ago. In the first couple of months we were more sex partners and it was what I wanted initially. Eventually it got more serious and everyone knew her as my girl friend. We had a very beautiful relationship, for 1 year and half. Spending all of our free time together, having fun, going out, etc. During that period, I have been reminding her that this relation even-though very healthy, but it's not gonna stand forever. In fact, I did not want her to love me because I didn't have the feeling to stand with her forever.

5 months ago we had our first fight. The real problem was that she wanted to know what's gonna happen in future and if I want to marry her or not. I managed to convince her that our relation is only a friendship. But I started to think about marrying her. During this time I tested her in different ways to realize if she is the person I want to live with the rest of my life or not. But she failed in some of my tests (she did not know I'm testing her!).

2 months ago, we had a fight and I told her that I have been thinking about marriage and decided not to marry her and we broke up. She seems to be very surprises that I was thinking about marriage!
After break up, I went on a long vacation until last week. Tonight, I met her for dinner. She started to cry saying how much she loves me and misses me. she said that she has done everything on purpose to make me break up because she was tired of not knowing what's gonna happen in future. She insisted that it was her fault, and she wants me back.
I really like her, but I'm not sure if I love her. I can not understand if I miss her is because of my loneliness, or because of I love her. I saw someone with similar situation asking the same question in a forum. Some others have responded that since he wonders he does not love the girl, if he had loved her wouldn't have asked in the forum!!
I'm very confused now. I do not know if I should continue this relation, or looking for new relations.
Any advice is very much appreciated.

[fighter]

As starters, to answer your main question, I do think that she loves you. I have a feeling that you have been using her eaven tho you have made ur intentions clear, because she made u feel good. I doubt that her intentions were mutual. Why did you eaven take that step into a relationship with her in the first place? Anyway, what you should do for boths sake is to take a break in the relationship and think of what qualitys your future wife should have, then compare with hers. Talk to her after you have made up your mind and be honest. I think that its the only sensible thing to do.

[KelE]

Wow, I can't believe you had a 2 yr relationship and thought it could remain "not Serious" for the other half. I don't think that is possible and someone, as you can see, is bound to get hurt. It just dsn't work. I think it was a mistake on both your parts. She should have taken your clues seriously and made a break from you a long time ago when you were making statements that the feelings were not mutual. That still dsn't change that you are casual about another person's feelings. I think your quicker way to something serious is to be honest and tell the truth because look at the time you have wasted yourself. If you hadn't got comfortable in this "friendship" as you call it, you would have been able to meet someone that will be for your long-term future, but you have to start over too.

[steviej]

In previous relationships that lasted over a year i would wonder if this was the girl for me, do i love her? Etc the girl i am with now i have no doubts at all, the thought of marrying her in the future makes me smile, not panic or be full of doubt!

This is how you should feel about the person you are going to be with. If you are full of doubts and questions then i think she is not the girl for you.