Trying to reconcile, please help

[DarkHelmet82]

how can all these people who are so MISERABLE with their partners stay together yet when both people are happy, shit hits the fan.

[lifemess]

I've been asking myself the same thing... Me and my ex didnt really have any problems except in the end where we fought a lot about silly stuff that doesn't even matter... I know it wouldn't be like that again. If i cheated on him or did something really bad to betray him or his trust, i'll say i'd understand why he would leave or why he feels like he doesn't want to get back together. the problems we had can be fixed, easily.... I just have to convince him about that. Cause other than the fighting in the end, we were so happy together and so much in love.. I guess that's why we are both still hanging on to each other right now.

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah i feel the same way.. except we had no problems that i was aware of at least.. ugh.. makes me sick

[lifemess]

For how long were you together?

[Purrzzzzzz]

thats interesting... maybe she thinks im playing games so shes doing it too.. ok monday it is. lol..

Yeah i dunno.. i find I give good advice, yet I cant walk myself out of a paper bag...

you made me laugh DH

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah im a pretty funny guy.. women like it.. but i guess im not THAT funny where I can keep em lol

[TonyR]

Lifemess, this issue you're having should be approached in a different manner. You are thinking how terrible you feel about this whole thing. This is bigger than you think. Your focus is on yourself, which is good, you want to express your feelings. But the confusion happens because you don't understand where he is coming from. First, there shouldn't be any blame or resentment, all that does is intensify the problem.

He may have issues regarding relationships. Maybe his parents divorced when he was young, and maybe he never experienced a long lasting and joyful relationship. There might have been verbal or physical abuse somewhere in his upbringing. If his experiences are from witnessing broken relationships and/or abuse, then you have your hands full. He basically doesn't have examples in his life to live by.

Also, if he is very young he might not have experience with his own relationships. Girls mature faster then guy's and girls express themselves emotionally. Guy's have a harder time doing this because of what's expected of him for being a man. I know it sounds silly, but nevertheless it is what it is. I understand you love him, but he can only love you back the only way he knows how and it may be different then how you love him.

You can visit my site for more information

Tony

[lifemess]

Thank you so much tony! That really made sense!! And you're right, his parents did.divorce when he was young.. But yet he did wanna be with me the first time, and he says he wants to marry me someday.... So, how should I approach it/him regarding this?

Im having a really hard time right now.. He didnt text me good night or anything last night, he always does. I have this very bad feeling.. Also I had a dream about him, where he left me again... Now I feel awful, and think thats whats going to happen.. That hes already considering it, or made his choice..im Just waiting for him to tell me.. I cant go back to sleep now :-(

[TonyR]

Lifemess this sounds like a tangled web. Both of you have to learn how to be in a relationship. Otherwise you both will continue this process in future relationships. When I speak of relationships, I am talking about ALL relationships. When you learn how to have a relationship with yourself first, you can then have a relationship with others, family, friends, and partners. There is too much going on here. Please read my blog post, I have information on how both of you can benefit and learn how to communicate with each other. If you want me to write a specific article regarding something you're going through, I can do that. I encourage my readers to comment and ask questions.

Thank you, Tony

[Raze]

You can visit my site for more information

Tony

I'm pretty sure it's against the forum rules to advertise.

Edit: Sorry, I misunderstood what you meant by "my site."



@ OP

I think you need to focus on moving on instead of obsessing over this ex.

[TonyR]

Thanks for the warning, although I didn't see that in the forum rules. Besides I am not selling anything, all my information is free, I state that on my front page.
Also they allow anyone to click on my homepage from my registered name on the top left hand corner.

So I would think it's okay

Tony

[Mathias]

Thanks for the warning, although I didn't see that in the forum rules. Besides I am not selling anything, all my information is free, I state that on my front page.
Also they allow anyone to click on my homepage from my registered name on the top left hand corner.

So I would think it's okay

Tony

I wouldn't have a problem if you didn't advertise your site in every post.

Just give advice if you want, but stop with the crap.

[lifemess]

I'm pretty sure it's against the forum rules to advertise.

Edit: Sorry, I misunderstood what you meant by "my site."



@ OP

I think you need to focus on moving on instead of obsessing over this ex.

I can't move on anyways.... And you should read the whole thread first before you say anything.. ?