help with ex

[zmoore]

okay so i need to know what you guys think. heres the deal:
me and my ex girlfriend had been dating for 18 months. im 16 and in june she'll be 19. the reason we broke up was because she said our age difference was getting to be to much of a problem..idk?... she said that i had to still live by the rules and couldnt come see her when i wanted and other stuff like that.
however no one saw this coming. everyone including the parents thought we were gonna last forever and get married. even my parents (which is a big surprise) would talk about that. we use to have feelings that even married couples that i talked to said they never felt. and the weird thing is that right after she broke up with me she said that she still loves me very much, still has feelings for me, and still wants me and my family in her life. she said it would break her heart if we never taked again and that she still wants to be close.
she said that right now she just needs some space, so im trying the no contact thing. so far i havent contacted her in 5 days and its been two weeks since we broke up. im thinking about waiting till her birthday, taking her to a theme park for the day and then reasking her out. thatll be in a month, so a month of no contact. do you think i should wait longer or move on?

[smackie9]

You are young and don't understand what it is to becoming an adult...as of yet. She is out of the school age stuff and heading into the adult world and you don't fit into that picture. She realizes she wants to discover herself, her independence, and her new freedoms that are ahead of her. I know the drinking age is 21 there but I bet she's gonna be hitting the clubs anyways. Sorry dude that she's leaving you in the dust, but it was bound to happen. Yes you need to move on....you have 2 more years of high school to go...enjoy your youth while it lasts.

[HeartIsAching]

I think Smackie's nailed it. You can try, but you might not be successful... if not, maybe try again in a couple of years when you're 18.

[zmoore]

do you guys have any idea what she means when she said she still loves me and has feelings for me?

[Mathias]

do you guys have any idea what she means when she said she still loves me and has feelings for me?

She does.

She wants to experience her life, though. She's 19 - nothing wrong with that. It's too soon to settle down, and she's grown up enough to realize that.

[IncognitoSir]

do you guys have any idea what she means when she said she still loves me and has feelings for me?

As confusing as it sounds, she probably does. Literally still has love for you but it just can't work between the two of you. Yeah, this sucks I know. 2 years down the road it'll all be different. Take this time to focus on yourself, she's just a few steps ahead of you in life right now and that changes things a lot at the age you 2 are at. It'll all even out for you very soon man, keep ya head up.

[zmoore]

she just wants some space. so ill respect that and give it to her. but i was wondering, i really want her back and im going to try agian within the next couple of months or maybe a year. so i was thinking when i do try again, should i tell her how i feel and then kiss her? we use to tell eachother everything and she told me im a really good kisser. ( it gonna get a lil mushy, but o well) she use to tell me that my kisses made her go numb and made her heart race and could stop time. she told me that when i kissed her that she couldnt think about anything else except for how amazingly lucky she is and how much she loves me. like if i gave her a random kiss out of no where, she would freeze up and this smile would appear on her face and grow bigger and bigger. so im wondering when i go to reask her out, should i try kissing her, to remind her of how things use to be. or is that a bad idea?

[smackie9]

Dude relationships will come in go in your life....the next one will end and the next and so on til you are ready for marriage. By the time you get around to asking her again she will have totally moved on. She broke up with you for a reason...she saw no reason to continue your relationship, it's over, done....accept and move on.

[Cerby]

Smackie is right.

And the truth is, a month won't don't it. She is out of HS, moved onto the next stage in real life, whether is be college or career. You're still in a stage where you're limited, your parents still have control of you, and have no real freedoms, and you're tied down into a highschool lifestyle.

She might still want you, but the relationship has become something that she doesn't want, and its not going to change until you graduate sadly. This is a scenario where you have no choice but to move on, and maybe, just maybe, she'll come back if she misses you enough.

16 years old, and an 18 month relationship is a long relationship for that age, I didn't break the 12 month mark in a relationship until I was in my early 20s.

[bluesummer]

I can't believe your parents told you, at 16, that they thought you guys would get married one day. Seriously. If I had a 16-yr-old, I'd just be like "enjoy it while it lasts."

Sorry to be harsh, but if this is your first relationship it's going to hurt and be confusing. Sometimes your first 'love' sticks in your mind forever....honestly, for years. A few months isn't going to do it. However, as much as you probably don't want to hear it, you'll meet someone else and fall even harder. The cycle will repeat itself many times in your life.

Understand that at 19, she has the whole world ahead of her after HS and she wants to go out and explore. Doesn't mean she feels nothing for you, but don't count on getting back together.