College kid in need of some advice

[Suitea]

I've just completed my first year of college and I realize that my experience thus far in life is pretty minimal and I'm not naive enough to think that this is the end all be all type of situation. However, I am in a bit of a tough spot and I am looking for any advice available. I met this particular girl in late November at a party and it just so happened she lived in the same dorm as I. My roommate and I started hanging out quite a bit with her and a couple of her friends and I could tell pretty quickly that I was really attracted to her. For the first couple of months I never became too close to her, just friends. I never really took things too serious at this point and never made much of an effort to get anywhere with her. Over this period of time I realized she was the type of girl that hooks up with a lot of guys, but nothing serious just your typical one night stand type of deal. This doesn't bother me too much as its college and I've had a few meaningless flings as well. A couple of the guys she's hooked up with happen to be friends of mine, which is a little weird but something again that I can get over with. During the Spring semester I really started to realize how much I cared about this girl and we started to become very close, talking and hanging out on a daily basis. During this time I found out that over the Summer she broke up with a boyfriend of over four years and that she was still extremely affectionate for this guy. At the end of school this ex (who goes to a different school) ended up dating another girl and she was clearly affected by this deeply. Because of the fact that she clearly wasn't over this guy I never made any attempt to get intimate with her whatsoever. Over summer I won't have the opportunity to see this girl as we live a great distance apart, so I asked her out to dinner during the last week of classes in which she declined saying that she just wasn't in a state where she felt like hanging out with "anyone".

This girl knows I like her a lot, but during the last couple of months where we became close I never felt like it was the "right" thing to do to pursue anything actively considering her state of mind. To make matters worse, she is taking the fall semester abroad which will create even more time apart. We talk on a daily basis and I truly cannot get this girl out of my mind, but I fear that with so much time already gone by with no intimacy that I may be ultimately doomed to be just a friend. When she comes back in the Spring do I attempt to pursue this girl that I cannot stop thinking about, or am I merely wasting my time? Any advice would be greatly appreciated (sorry for the length!)

[SwampDonkey47]

If she's about to go away I would just tell her how you feel. Easier said than done but you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You both have lives that are in transition at the moment and you could both be going in opposite directions tomorrow to don't miss your chance to be happy, even if it's only for a while. With regard to her being into her ex don't worry about it. Most people you meet are still hung up on someone, it's just the level that differs. Sometimes you have to be with someone new to get over them. Again, nothing wrong with that as long as you are open and honest about it. I was in love and living with a girl once. She left me for someone else and I was heartbroken. 4-days later, when I was in a real mess, I met someone else. Everyone thought I was made and said it would never work out and it never did. But between the start and the end we have 15-years together and two-children.! So who's to say what's right and what's wrong? You need to focus your life on regretting the things you did do rather than the things you didn't do.