Hi,
I posted here before.*[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/53429-how-do-you-understand-your-feelings-advice-needed-about-girl-new-post.html[/url]
To catch up, I entered into a relationship with my friend, now girlfriend.*
After one night when we ended up in bed with each other, she asked why I didn't want to be with her again. I said because I didn't think it would work long term, once the excitement wore off. She said she couldn't see me again as a friend, so weighing up all the possibilities, I decided to go for it as the relationship failing was surely worth the risk of not seeing her again as a friend anyway.
It of course doesn't help that we work next to each other or that I blatantly ignored my gut instinct.*
So three weeks in and there have been a lot of issues. I find her controlling and wanting me to conform to a certain idealised image. She seems to want a lot, which I am criticised as not reaching but gives little in return. There is a lot of points scoring and keeping tabs. But above all, what eats away at me is her spiteful comments. I guess she feels she needs to defend herself when I tell her how I feel - like when she met my parents and worried my mum sick by taking my 14 sis out to buy cigs drunk (my mum found cigs in my little sisters bag a while back and worried she'd be led astray and start smoking again). Whatever the reason (and she doesn't know as ive asked her) it's inexcusable.
You might be thinking 'so what's to decide?'. Well, firstly I think I should give it a good go plus I find her attractive, have great sex and she's intelligent. *I think it would be wrong to try change her for who she is, but how she conducts herself with others is completely different from how she is with me (read about controlling people of your not sure what I mean).*
Advice at how I go about creating a closer bond and moving past these difficulties would be most welcome!*
I must admit, I am a little concerned that even if we sort things, will these issues raise their ugly head later down the line?
If your advice is to break-up with her, which I am prepared to do, then how do I minimalise the car crash that will ensue (I work with the girl)?