did this work for you? did you even try it?

[zmoore]

okay, so right now im going through a break up, its been 3 weeks since me and my ex have split up and it feels like FOREVERRRRR. im trying the no contact rule, in order for her to start missing me and then to finally contact me. i have slipped and failed by contacting her twice. next week is her birthday, i was going to contact her to see if she wanted to get a group together to go to a theme park for her bday. after that i planned on going back to the no contact thing. does this "no contact" thing work, or am i just making myself look like a jerk from ignoring her?

[pisces25]

There are many similar threads to this and the NC thing is always a contentious issue. I personally favour the NC thing but it depends on your circumstances. Was it a mutual break, did you leave her or did she leave you? Do you want to reconcile? Does your relationship have problems which will need to be sorted out if you did reconcile?

Hypothetically if she initiated the split NC is probably best as she may want to be left alone to move on with her life. Just remember this is just as hard on her as it is on you and just because she isn't contacting you doesn't mean she isn't missing you. People deal with things in different ways.

[zmoore]

yeah it was a mutual break up. we both dealt with it pretty well. and she broke up with me. so will the NC thing make her miss me/want to talk to me?

[pisces25]

She will probably be missing you, after all when you become involved with someone it is hard to just erase them from your mind. However she may also be trying to move on and find NC works best for her. Leave it for her to contact you and if she doesn't then it is pretty clear she will not be returning.

[Red Apollo]

I remember when my last ex broke up with me. I did NC in a way because I actually wanted nothing to do with her. About a month later she kept trying to text me and call me over trivial things just trying to start conversation and get me to come see her. I did it without even trying and it worked, so I think its pretty effective. Its been over a year now, and I'll still get that occasional "What are you up to?" text out of no where. Only difference is I just ignore them.

[zmoore]

we both agreed on being friends after the break up, but she said she needed some space. so after i try the no contact thing, (and if she doesnt contact me) should i try contacting her to see what shes been up to? or leave it to her to contact me

[Red Apollo]

Leave it to her, if she doesn't contact you don't bother. Move on and don't put yourself through the anguish over and over again by calling/texting her.