What does this mean?

[zelly]

I was broken up with 5 weeks ago. My ex still wanted to be friends and promised the breakup was only temporary because he wanted to hangout with friends (which I NEVER told him he couldn't do). I tried the friends thing and decided I couldn't do it because I knew I wanted more than that so I told him "I don't think we should speak anymore." Though he wasn't very happy about it he said okay. We didn't speak for two weeks and on the two week mark he wished me happy birthday. I thanked him and said hope all is well with you. He didn't respond which is fine, but three days later he texted me acting like he was just responding to my thank you text. He said thanks and asked how my classes were going. I responded a few hours later because I was napping and he never said anything back. That was about a week and a half ago now.
I was just wondering why do you think he would text me after I made it very clear that I didn't think we should speak? Yes it was only 2 texts each, but that's more than I was ever expecting and the last one has left me confused. The happy bday one was just a nice gesture so I didn't think too much into that one.

[oldskool83]

he misses ya. ask him to stop over and talk. he will.

[smackie9]

Just move on girl.

[Wakeup]

I was just wondering why do you think he would text me after I made it very clear that I didn't think we should speak?

Well, you didn't make it that clear if you replied to him now did you. It was a test to see how much conviction you have. You failed.

Block and delete him. If he valued you, he would have worked something out with you to see his friends regularily.. My suspicion is that he wanted to get with some other girl but wanted to keep you around in case the grass didn't turn out to be so green. (only conjecture about the girl but non-the-less he BROKE UP WITH YOU over a shitty reason that had he actually cared enough for you he would have attempted to compromise) Don't answer him anymore. You said you didn't want to talk to him so don't bloody well talk to him.

he misses ya. ask him to stop over and talk. he will.

If he missed you, he'd have asked to see you. He would have answered you back keenly and in a timely fashion. If you don't block and delete him and he does ask that... Think twice before being someones holla back girl. He'll likely do it to you again if he knows he got away with it the first time.

[zelly]

Uh well I didn't think it was necessary to not say thank you to the birthday wish...that would have been a bit immature to do. And I did make it very clear I didn't think we should talk. How much clearer can me not speaking to him make it..? Yes I responded to happy birthday because we didn't end on bad terms so I don't see the point in being straight up rude if he says happy bday.
And I have moved on thank you very much I was just curious to see why on earth he texted me in the first place. Also, he DID make an effort to keep me from doing this. That's the whole reason I gave the friends thing a chance in the beginning because he literally begged me and didn't understand why I couldn't be friends with him, but I just got sick of pretending to be "temporary friends" when I wanted to be together.

[abn25]

Blocking and deleting is not the end all answer to everything in life, get real. If you both ended things maturely which by the sounds of it you did by doing EXACTLY the right thing by telling him how you feel and being honest with yourself first well then there is no harm in speaking civilly to that person on occasion. I would just keep your stand and distance on things however and just see what happens. It sounds like he's rethinking things because you were true to yourself and guys cant stand it when you go and pull the old "honest card", sets em off in a tizzy or somethin like what just happened??

[Wakeup]

I just got sick of pretending to be "temporary friends" when I wanted to be together.

then why don't you make it so he can't contact you? It's awfully hard to not be thinking of someone who had the nerve to not want to be with you anymore if he keeps popping in and out of your life. That's what his texts are doing they're little pops in and out that allow him to rent space in your brain for free. His antics are confusing you to the point where you're asking for guesses as to why he's doing it from strangers on the internet.. Deleting and blocking is a good tool to make it so he can't confuse you or do things you've told him you don't want to do. Not settling to just be his friend was smart it would just hurt you (as you know) Now, don't allow him to just be your friend by entertaining his texts.

I'd not even want to ocassionly text back someone who could so easily dismiss me from his life as his girlfriend. Just don't answer if you don't want to delete and block but everytime he sends you one he opens you up to thoughts of him once again which makes it harder for you to get to the state of indifference to him.



Good luck.

[Reset]

Yes, men can't deal with honesty lol. Get real, men hate games and LOVE it when women are upfront and honest.

My take on the situation: He wants to break up temporarily and still be friends (subtitles: do what he wants and keep you on the back burner) so that he can hang out with friends (subtitles: have fun, probably mess around) and you turned him down, good call. He gauged if he still had a chance of keeping you on the back burner by how long it took you to respond to his texts, it took too long, he figured it was too much work/you weren't interested/ decided to forget it and moved on.

But when you say I don't want to talk and then reply to his text message it sends him mixed signals. It's not rude to not reply to somebody if you specifically told them you weren't talking to them, he didn't expect you to reply that's probably why it took him three days to come up with the brilliant text "hey how are classes?"

[zelly]

Well I don't block him or delete him because to be honest I think that's very immature. To me it's like just running away from the situation which I didn't feel was necessary since we didn't end on bad terms. Also it seems a bit extreme to block him from my phone..that requires going to the store and having the number permanently blocked. And there's no point in deleting the number because then I'd just be receiving texts from an unknown number (although I know his number by heart).
Yes I agree with those subtitles you gave haha I couldn't stand the feeling of being strung along while he was off doing god knows what which is why I put an end to the friends thing. I do think there's a difference between being friends and being friendly (kind of like there's a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone). That is exactly why I NEVER initiate any contact, but I'll be semi-cordial if he does. I don't give him anything to work off of conversation wise like asking how his classes are going in return. Nope, never.

[Wakeup]

It sounds like you have things under control. If him contacting you doesn't bring up old feelings or cause you to long to be with him and stagnate your progress to being completely over him, then there is no point in blocking him. Your last post explains that his contact isn't interfering with you being able to get over him whereas your first post said you told him "I don't think we should speak" which lead me to believe you didn't want him contacting you but you were too nice to tell him to stop it. (lots of people like that out there without the ability to be assertive because they think it's being rude rather than just a preference).

Anyway.. carry on and happy texting. Careful he doesn't reel you in as his "friend" like he originally planned.

[zelly]

I said that when I was fed up with the games that I felt like I was playing with being strung along and all. In the two weeks after I said I didn't think we should speak I really had time to work on myself and get back to the me that was me before he was in my life. Thankfully I feel as though I was a point where him texting me wouldn't have me falling for him again. Had it been a week earlier I don't know if I could say the same. I do feel like I can handle getting messages from him because even in our relationship I was never naggy, I'm pretty independent, I'm just confused as to why he's sending them in the first place. I wasn't expecting a bday text but it was nice that he did it, but I DEFINITELY was not expecting another text. Especially days later.
For the record I honestly don't think he's messing around with other girls, but there was no way I was going to go sit on the backburner while I waited to find out. Ignorance is bliss in this situation haha.