boundaries in relationships

[Nicholas_V]

i know drinking doesnt make things better but at the moment being sober is alot worse. just sit there doing nothing. i cant even watch tv because my mind if full of crap. at least with a few drinks im slightly distracted.

Dude, if failing relationships were easy to accept, we wouldn't all be here beating ourselves up. It is what it is though and it will get worse before it gets better.

Try not to think of your own troubles - that's why I suggested earlier reading threads in LF.

And stop calling her - you will regret it later.

[mehwhatcanyoudo]

thanks for the replies people.

A. i cant go out right now its 5am.
B. im not going to wake up my mother and start having a D&M, especially at 5am!!

i know by drinking its only a temp thing about a much bigger problem. but its helping at the moment.

thanks guys i have pretty much made my mind up where to go with this.
i cant go out with someone who doesnt even consider my emotions. or who even has the nerve to try and turn it around on me and try and make me feel like i have done something wrong.

im not going to call or contact her again. full stop.

thanks guys, time heals everything right?

[Wakeup]

All I can say that if my daughter was as upset as you appear to be, I'd gladly be woken up by her at any time if I could help her grieve.

and... No time doesn't heal everything... It is what you do with your time that heals.

Keep busy, join a co-ed sports leagues, do a hobby you've always wanted to do but didnt' yet, join the gym, spend lots of quality time with your friends and rely on your family.

Hope she calls you so you can vent it out to her and get your closure.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh yes, time heals. In fact, you'll feel much better once she starts calling you crying and saying she's sorry. You are right: its all about her--your feelings don't matter. So, when she calls (and she will) stay strong. If you really want to teach her a lesson so she'll think twice before cheating on a nice guy say this:

"I'm sorry but I really never want to speak to you again. You have no integrity. I can't date a woman who is a cheater, I deserve someone better." She will sputter and be indignant, but only b/c you will have hit the mark squarely on. Then wish her well and hang up. Don't answer her return calls.

I promise you will feel MUCH better after this. Post here and tell us how it goes.

[Wakeup]

I agree... don't let her her dazzle you with her bullshit.

[mehwhatcanyoudo]

.......................**** this is hard

its hard for a guy to talk about stuff like this with his friends or family, i dont talk to anyone about my personal r/ship problems. is great to be able to talk to someone or some people and get some decent feedback with no insults or immature comments. thanks alot guys i really appreciate it.
*sigh*

[Nicholas_V]

get some sleep - the longer you stay sleepless the worse it gets.

Stop thinking and SLEEP!

[qwerty123456]

I agree with Nicholas, go to the drugs store and get some sleeping tablets if you have to. It must be like 7am in Oz at the minute or something?

[Nicholas_V]

Sleeping pills and alcohol: not a very good idea. you've had your drinks and it's early morning. You must be physically exhausted. Switch off the telly, stop thinking and you will fall asleep.

Been there, done that man.

[mehwhatcanyoudo]

its 9am ran out of booze, going to try and get some rest. im exhausted in everyway.

its times like this i wish i smoked weed so i could just knock myself out.

my bitch will come back some time later today and im not going to call her not matter how hard it is.

alls i want to do though is break up with her. its one thing to be the person who dumps someone because you can preapare mentally for the split, but when you get dumped its just plain rough.

:/

[MaidenMinx]

Dude, I hope you're asleep by now.

One of 2 things happened here. Either she did subconciously to sabotage the relationship and have you break up with her because she doesn't want to be the bad guy OR she seriously doesn't understand what she is doing wrong, and either way that's a bad thing.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

[mehwhatcanyoudo]

its over.................oh the pain

[Saya]

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all this awfulness and pain, but she doesn't deserve you and that you deserve and treated way better than what she did to you.

[elleda]

its times like this i wish i smoked weed so i could just knock myself out.

lol i dated a guy who made me think this exact thought to myself. he had NO boundaries for his female "friends" who treated me like shit, had him over to their homes at 11pm at night (never inviting me), pretended i didn't exist and then he'd stick up for them and say i was imagining it.

BOUNDARIES.

after our last fight, when he hadn't heard from me in 1 day, he sent a text...then the voicemails started a few days later (crying), after a week an email saying how wrong he was and he'll never find someone like me blah blah.......i didn't respond at ALL to any of these things.

no contact rule works so well for a number of reasons.

everyone is right, keep yourself busy! this might sound horrible, but i also created an online dating profile and went on a few dates with cool people that made me realize hey- i have options that aren't insensensitive a-holes!!!!

it hurts. in the beginning, it helps to get mad. just keep posting here. and let us know what happens.

[Boisdevie]

She is ****ing some other guy isn't she? So do not call , do not text,