I'm getting married!!

[MaidenMinx]

I wasn't sure where to post this and in the long run I am just looking to vent some nervous energy and have no where else to do it really.

In one weeks time my fiance and I are taking the plunge - finally! We decided long ago we wanted to get married on our current anniversary so as not to confuse things. He proposed in 08 and we were going to get married in 09 as that year our anniversary fell on a Saturday. Costs mounted, stress increased, ideals were being traded in for what we could afford. My wonderful man suggested we put it off until we could afford to do it properly, planning for a 2015 wedding and waiting for the next Saturday. Over the last few years we have frequently discussed eloping, or a simple registry office wedding during the week and then doing a renewal of vows in '15. I told him last November I was tired of waiting, I want our little family to all have the same last name, let's do it. He agreed.

Now where I live, we don't have registry office weddings any more so a few months ago I found a lovely celebrant who does very small weddings in her back yard. Appointments were made, she agreed to marry us and suddenly it was official. It was really happening. My man and I suddenly had a big decision on our hands. Who do we tell? Who do we invite? We decided that we would invite my mum, dad and step mum, and his sisters (his parents are deceased). Then I had to tell my best friend that we were finally getting married but she wasn't invited. She wanted to punch me but didn't. Then we organised with the celebrant that she can be there in the capacity of being babysitter so my son can attend but not distract me. She's annoyed that she has to take him for a walk and miss the vows, but that is more than fine with me. One reason I am opting for a small wedding is I feel profoundly uncomfortable with the idea of getting up in front of all my friends and family and expressing my love for my man. My man is just as embarrassed by the idea.

So now it's one week to go and I am freaking out. Not about the wedding itself, but about telling close friends and family that we snuck away and did it without them. I know a lot of people are going to be very hurt. I have warned my man that we will be expected to host some sort of reception at some point and they we may end up needing to do the whole gift registry thing (which I personally believe to be the height of bad manners, but I have to acknowledge some people have no idea how to buy presents). I know I could do a wishing well which would make sense since we have 99% of the household stuff we need, but I think that is rude too. Maybe I'll ask for donations for a local charity... anyway I digress.

In an effort to reduce costs I have decided to do as much as I can myself. I bought a beautiful dress back in 08 that still fits (just!), so that wasn't a worry. I am styling my hair myself and doing my own make up. I have baked our wedding cake and it's in the freezer and have spent the last few days practising piping chocolate decorations. I do have a hair appointment this week but that is just to fix the colour. I managed to score my fiance an ex rental formal suit, tie, vest and shirt for $150 which I though was a bargain. I bought my son a tuxedo tshirt since I know there is no chance of getting him into something more formal. I am still yet to decide on a final hair style but as I am still waiting on my veil to arrive, it's a hard call to make.

The few people that know have all asked us about a honeymoon. I haven't even really considered it at this point. Maybe that's because our ideal honeymoon would be going to Wacken open air festival and that's ALOT of money!

So thankyou for letting me vent. I feel a little saner now.

[kageri]

We got married in an office with 2 witnesses and then just held a reception 2 months later. I suppose a few people were probably annoyed but for the most part everyone got over it and didn't really care.

[MaidenMinx]

How did you announce it to everyone? I'm trying to decide if I should organise an announcement in the newspaper or if I should just count on FB and gossip to get the word around?

[kageri]

Generally here you send out an individual invitation to everyone you want to attend and announce it in the local newspaper. Then you send out an individual thank you note to everyone who attended and signed the book.

[sadie_genie]

Congrats!

(10 char)

[MerryH]

Congrats! Show us pics of what your dress and cake will look like, if you feel like sharing.

How did you announce it to everyone? I'm trying to decide if I should organise an announcement in the newspaper or if I should just count on FB and gossip to get the word around?

I've gotten an announcement in the mail from a couple I know. They eloped, and afterward sent a nice card with a photo of the bride & groom, saying where and when it happened and a short sentence about how only very close family attended. That's probably what I would do. It would feel weird to expect it to get around through gossip. I can imagine that creating a lot of awkward situations. "Oh, Aunt Marie, you didn't know we got married? Yeah...it was last year. Sorry no one told you."



P.S. I hate to bring a little bit of negativity, but I feel bad for your best friend. It would kind of sting to hear, "Okay, fine, turns out you can come, but not as a guest. You're only invited because you're going to be working." Maybe you can think about involving her in a more important, meaningful way. Can you hire a babysitter?

[MaidenMinx]

Thanks Merry. I will put some pics up when I get around to taking some.

I like the idea of the card and the photo. That's quite a nice idea.

Babysitters are difficult with our li'l man as he has Autism and our anniversary is falling on a public holiday. When I told my best friend I had to figure out something to do with him she offered to look after him so she could at least be there.

[MerryH]

Babysitters are difficult with our li'l man as he has Autism and our anniversary is falling on a public holiday. When I told my best friend I had to figure out something to do with him she offered to look after him so she could at least be there.

Ah. Well, that's kind of her. Get her a really nice thank-you gift, then! Haha.

Congrats, again! Hope you have a lovely wedding.

[Nicholas_V]

Congrats maidenmnix - wishing you the best of luck and a long-lasting and happy married life!

Let us see some pictures from the wedding if you like!

Enjoy it - N

[devonbrown]

Congrats! But remember this - the wedding is only the beginning of the marriage. The ceremony is not as important as the life together.

Good luck!

[MaidenMinx]

Devon, I completely agree. I think focusing on the wedding and not the marriage is what dooms a lot of couples from the get go.

Only 2 more sleeps and the big day is here! I am getting so excited. My man has barely slept for the last 2 nights, though whether that's through nerves or excitement I'm not sure. I'm not too worried about that though, if it's really important he'll talk to me about it, in the mean time he'll process it.

I'm not sure if I mentioned before that I have baked my own cake. I covered it with ganache today and am going nuts trying to figure out what I have done with my marble board so I can finish the chocolate plastic decorations. It's a beautiful marble chocolate mud cake covered at the moment in a nice thick cover of white chocolate ganache. I am going to do a panels of milk & dark chocolate plastic (it's yummier than it sounds) will go around the sides of the cake and I'm going to put chocolate plastic hearts on toothpicks and skewer then into the top of the cake. My best friend bought us a selection of wedding presents today one of which is a beautiful white cake plate with matching cake knife and server. I am so looking forward to using them on the day. I love my best friend, she is fantastic!

Last year I had a colour disaster at a hair dresser that I have been trying to fix ever since. I spent a pretty penny for a new hair colour that was worth every cent. Down side is now I know why GOOD hair dressers charge so much and I can almost justify going back when I get bored of the colour I have. :p Being a blonde, I have (as is typical) darkened to what can be called dark blonde or mouse brown depending on the light. My hair dresser has been able to take my hair back to the colour of my youth but doing the foils so masterfully it's not overbearing. I'm looking forward to achieving a bit of a snow queen look on my wedding day.

I'll be styling my own hair on the day and doing my own make up (as I now realise I mentioned before) but I can now add that I have decided on a hair style. I am simply going to braid it back and finish it in a bun. I am going for a fairly neutral romantic look with my make up and I practised both my hair and make up earlier this evening (hubby to be is at work) and tried on my veil with it. I was very pleased by the result.

My dad and step mum arrive in town tomorrow but are busy seeing friends and family. I can't wait for him to pick me up to drive me to my wedding. We've always had a rocky relationship and I know being such a big part of my tiny wedding will mean the world to him.

My mum and I are going to buy flowers tomorrow. I'll be arranging them myself. It's amazing how much more you can take on and do yourself when you're keeping it small. Though I will admit that doing more yourself doesn't help with trying to reduce the stress levels.

Soooo much to do still. I don't want to be up too late tonight or tomorrow night and I want to try to relax as much as I can between now and monday. I don't need any new stress lines. :p