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Thread: Do guys usually do this?

  1. #1
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    Do guys usually do this?

    So I have this friend that I occassionally have sex with. When we met, we both agreed to no strings attached sex. Things got kind of heavy at a certain point and we both kinda freaked out and went our separate ways for a few weeks. I didn't call him and he didn't call me. I wanted to stay neutral and figured that he will call when he want to talk to me.There's no point in chasing the guy. Sure enough he started calling me again, I finally agreed to hang out with him, we hooked up again and it was just weird!

    First of all, He wasn't being as "kinky"in bed as he usually is. Then he was being extra attentive to my needs and doing things like holding my hand, he was laying his head in my lap and on my chest.. Kissed my forehead.( My ex never even did that) He asked me why I didn't "cuddle" with him. I even noticed the way he looked at me was different. I mean those are clear displays of affection. You do that with someone you are in a relationship with right? Not your F buddy.

    I got a way different vibe from this person who supposedly does not want a relationship. I think he may be developing feelings and I'm not really sure how to take it... Could he be trying to show me is feelings in a subtle way? I haven't returned his text in a week.

    Is this a normal way for guys to act or am I over-thinking things?

  2. #2
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    youre over thinking things. he has feelings for you.

    go with it, or cut off all contact (after telling him why). its that simple.

  3. #3
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    Sounds like he's developing feelings for you... here's a thought: Ask him. Quit playing guessing games, and communicate.

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    I haven't returned his text in a week.

    Is this a normal way for guys to act or am I over-thinking things?
    First thing: Why haven't you returned his text? If you can be a **** buddy then you should have the confidence and smarts to be able to directly speak to someone about the dynamic of the relationship. No? Why don't you ask him instead of ignoring him and playing games? *No strings attached sex doesn't give you carte blanc to be rude and disrespectful. Common courtesy, ya know.

    Second thing:
    Not all guys do things or think exactly the same way so to ask us what is going on with him is just stuuuupid.

    Pick up your big girl booty call panties (I hear lots of men like white lace ones for some reason) and tell the man that you only want sex or whatever the hell it is you want and quit playing games. No one and I mean no one can be sure that he's developing feelings for you. No one but him.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 07-06-11 at 06:55 AM. Reason: cleaned it up.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    Really though, you're just gonna ignore him?? That's ridiculous. How could you allow him to stick his dick in your vagina, but you don't have the guts to ask him if he's developing feelings for you? Just proves that NEITHER one of you are capable of FRIENDS with BENEFITS.

  6. #6
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    [QUOTE=Wakeup;716868]First thing: Why haven't you returned his text? If you can be a **** buddy then you should have the confidence and smarts to be able to directly speak to someone about the dynamic of the relationship. No? Why don't you ask him instead of ignoring him and playing games? *No strings attached sex doesn't give you carte blanc to be rude and disrespectful. Common courtesy, ya know.

    Second thing:
    Not all guys do things or think exactly the same way so to ask us what is going on with him is just stuuuupid.

    Pick up your big girl booty call panties (I hear lots of men like white lace ones for some reason) and tell the man that you only want sex or whatever the hell it is you want and quit playing games. No one and I mean no one can be sure that he's developing feelings for you. No one but him.[/QUOTE

    Isn't that was this forum is for? I simply wanted a male point of view. I don't know why I haven't texted him back, but I plan to this weekend. I'm not purposely trying to ignore him or play any games.. I just need to think.

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    Quote Originally Posted by IncognitoSir View Post
    Really though, you're just gonna ignore him?? That's ridiculous. How could you allow him to stick his dick in your vagina, but you don't have the guts to ask him if he's developing feelings for you? Just proves that NEITHER one of you are capable of FRIENDS with BENEFITS.
    How do you even ask someone that?

  8. #8
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    Well, perhaps I'm asking too much for people to have common sense and simple common courtesy... sorry.
    I'm not purposely trying to ignore him or play any games.. I just need to think.
    well, even if your motives are not vicious, you're still ignoring him. Pick up the phone and tell him you're not up to a meet. Simple.

    Anyway... You can open up the convo with something like this perhaps: "So, we've been enjoying each other for (insert length of time) now, are we both still on the same page here?... Dialogue started.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 07-06-11 at 10:42 AM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  9. #9
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    Sounds like he has feelings for you. You could ask him about it casually if you're nervous about it. A guy who treats you with a lot of care usually means he feels for you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jb1111983 View Post
    Sounds like he has feelings for you. You could ask him about it casually if you're nervous about it. A guy who treats you with a lot of care usually means he feels for you.
    Thats not necessarily true. There are men who treat women kindly, with respect and show normal affection but it doesn't mean they have feelings that indicate they want a full blown relationship. He could have feelings for her (he'd have to have some if they're FWB) but it's quite possible that he does not have the kind past fondness. She won't know until she has a dialogue with him and hopefully hel'll be honest with her.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 07-06-11 at 10:54 PM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  11. #11
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    You do that with someone you are in a relationship with right? Not your F buddy.
    Yes, he probably has feelings for you, after taking time to think of both of you as a couple. But you'll have to ask him if he wants to be more than FWB. Like ask him if you want to date exclusively.

  12. #12
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    A friend you only have sex with. A boy toy, this itself is wrong on 100 different levels.

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