Don't know if i want to marry anymore...

[smackie9]

Well if your future husband lets his best friend get away with dissin and talkin trash about you, your guy doesn't respect you either. If I was ever dating someone who didn't defend and supported me, I would definitely would never have kids or marry the prick. Girl you have no dignity or self respect! You have been receiving abuse from him and yes neglect is abuse. Your relationship has gone through some crappy times....for good reason.....it should have been over years ago. Like heartIsaching quoted....good luck on a short marriage.

[Mathias]

He wants you.

[HeartIsAching]

Thanks.. But that's just how I feel.. I have never been in a situation like this.. I don't have issues like this with people. I'm not use to this. Maybe it does sound controlling but I can't stomach this man standing next to my fiance the day of our wedding being that he did so much to me. He touched me in ways I shouldn't have been touched, called me names, etc.. I rather just walk away.. Thanks for your advice..

And don't get me wrong - calling you names and touching you inappropriately are abusive behavior (emotionally and sexually, respectively) and totally unacceptable. You don't have to accept this - but you don't get to choose his friends either, and forcing him to choose between you might backfire on you.

[IncognitoSir]

This best friend sounds like bad news and it makes me question what your finance is REALLY like. Think about it, this guy is HIS best friend, so what does that make your finance. I just cant see an awesome great guy being best friends with a complete douchbag who has slapped you on the ass and spreads you guys business around. How do you think the married life will be with this best friend around? Think about how it will effect your marriage and ULTIMATELY your kids who don't deserve to go through that sh!t! I'm sorry to say, but I think your finance might be a undercover douchbag.

[elleda]

Thanks.. But that's just how I feel.. I have never been in a situation like this.. I don't have issues like this with people. I'm not use to this. Maybe it does sound controlling but I can't stomach this man standing next to my fiance the day of our wedding being that he did so much to me. He touched me in ways I shouldn't have been touched, called me names, etc.. I rather just walk away.. Thanks for your advice..

THAT IS HORRIBLE!!!!! how insensitive of your guy to be blind to your feelings.

this is a strange question but.....IS this idiot friend single?? how is his love life?

he might not want to lose his party buddy or be the only one sitting at the singles table from now on.

hate to say it but.... if you make your case rationally, logically and in a mature fashion and he still didn't care, i'd walk.

so sorry you have to go through this!!! ((

if it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend's meddling, disrespectful drama causing best friend happened to be his ex-girlfriend.....!!!

after dropping him like a hot potato for a week, he realized the error of his ways and that she can't be his best friend when he is in a relationship.

guess who got the last laugh???

[Kadie30]

Friend of 15 years and a fiance (+ 2 kids) of 6 years... Dunno how it is in your books ,but in mine , once there is a "family" , family goes over EVERYTHING ,especially over a friend that cannot accept a member of your family . Like HIA said , he's not very fond of his friend's wifes BUT he's trying to be nice to them , because they are members of his friend's families ... If OP's fiances friend cannot overcome his silly issues , he's clearly not the best friend. What is he? A 18yo school boy ?

That's how I feel as well.. Once there is a family... Family goes over Everything.. But you never know.. Maybe he is considered more so "family" then I am.. ?? Idk... I'm to the point where i'm just gonna throw in the towel. I always throw in the towel. I always leave.. He's the one that always comes back. I mean 5am knocks on the door, calling crying apologizing ect.. I don't get what he wants from me if he don't want to set his friend straight and not allow him to treat me the way that he does.. My whole thing is if you vent to a friend.. Fine.. you vent to a friend.. But your friend goes and say mean things about your woman and you as the man and that's your friend, don't want to deal with it but want your woman to ignore it while your friend is still going around talking all this mess. You come home and argue with me but fail to put your friend in place. Why??? would I want someone like that standing at the alter as "support" for us when we get married?? btw.. we are all 30 and over.. smh. ... p.s. I even thought he was gay for a min. when it comes to this friend it's like no holds bar! Your asking for trouble if you mention this friends name.

[Kadie30]

This best friend sounds like bad news and it makes me question what your finance is REALLY like. Think about it, this guy is HIS best friend, so what does that make your finance. I just cant see an awesome great guy being best friends with a complete douchbag who has slapped you on the ass and spreads you guys business around. How do you think the married life will be with this best friend around? Think about how it will effect your marriage and ULTIMATELY your kids who don't deserve to go through that sh!t! I'm sorry to say, but I think your finance might be a undercover douchbag.

My fiance is actually a hard working man.. Great father, very respectful, god fearing man.. He doesn't party, doesn't hang out, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, etc... Me and him have a fairly good relationship.. No i'm not sticking up for him but all of our arguments been about his friends.. At the time we met the friend was single. I personally think the friend wants what my fiance has.. Jealousy. and my fiance just has so much, no to much faith in the man to where he doesn't want to realize that he have been the cause of ALL of our arguments.. I don't get it.. All he says is that's his BEST FRIEND... Me and his sister had a falling out and he went off on his sister!! His own sister.. and his friend did something far more worst then his sister did and he has nothing to say to his friend.. It's like his friend have a hold on him.. He knows something about him that he is holding against him. I don't know what it is..

[doppelgaenger]

You're really immature and there's no way in hell you're even ready for that kind of commitment. Yeah, I just read the thread you deleted about you calling him names and expecting him to "be a man and not do anything about it." I feel sorry for your kids.

[IndiReloaded]

Ouch. LOL.

You shouldn't be getting married with these kinds of issues in your relationship. You are going to make your kids suffer a horrible, unnecessary divorce. That is all.

[KelE]

Ouch. LOL.

You shouldn't be getting married with these kinds of issues in your relationship. You are going to make your kids suffer a horrible, unnecessary divorce. That is all.

I agree with this post. The issue here seems so much deeper in your own relationship. It may seem crazy to not go thru with the wedding, but it will seem crazier after the fact, in hind sight when you are going thru a nasty divorce and his stupid friend will be right there by his side cheering him on.

With that said, if your husband told his friend to cut the crap, like he should have told him to do a long time ago. Also, if he tells the friend that he wants him in the wedding but will not put up with any and I mean any disrespect to you, then I think you could agree to not be mad if he is in the wedding. That would be the compromise. This would be a test, because if you and future hubby can not rationally come to a compromise over this, then I don't see how you will handle so many of life's up's and down.

I do agree with you though, that this does have to be dealt with. Without a doubt. Good Luck.....

[Kadie30]

You're really immature and there's no way in hell you're even ready for that kind of commitment. Yeah, I just read the thread you deleted about you calling him names and expecting him to "be a man and not do anything about it." I feel sorry for your kids.

Look. This is her fiance and yes she left this dum ass page up, I am the one that deleted the post. She isn't immature, she is hurt by something I allowed. Now I don't care what she puts on here about me but don't ever feel sorry for our kids. We take care of our kids very well. They don't see half of what we go through. They are always happy and smiling and want for nothing. I was wrong and my friend did say and do harsh things to my woman, that I never wanted to acknowledge. But that's another story. But don't ever feel sorry for our kids.

Gatoruncanny

[surfhb]

Wow!! Issue solved?? Lol

[IndiReloaded]

The college kids are out of school...

[smackie9]

Yup guess so.....

[Kadie30]

Wow!! Issue solved?? Lol

Far from it..