seeing the ex for the first time tomorrow

[confused&single]

So I invited my ex to my brother's high school graduation open house tomorrow as more of a gesture than anything else. I did this more than a month ago when I was really hurting and frankly just wanted to see him. I didn't think he would actually say yes. Well he said yes and I just confirmed with him that he will be arriving tomorrow around 1130. I freaked out and told him over fb that I didn't think it was a good idea just now and he asked why and preceded to insist that he was in fact going to stop by. I started to panic and told him not to because I was still in love with him and I didnt think I could handle it. All he said was "sorry :/" so me being me preceded to ask him every question you shouldn't ask your ex. "Do you still love me?" - no answer. "do you have any intentions of getting back together?" - " I can't answer that question right now". His younger bro needed to use the computer so he "needed" to get off. I asked him to call...he did like 5 mins later. At this point my voice is shaking and I can't really articulate what Iwant to say . He came off as completely together. I told him I was just nervous that if he came and something happened my whole extended family would be there. He said he didnt realize that and he didn't want to make the afternoon about anyone other than my bro so he agreed to just mail his gift. I then decided I did want to see him....I spent a lot of money on me and our dog for his arrival tomorrow. I want him to visually see what he is missing ..... the ex said he would do whatever I wanted him to do...but if I didn't give him an answer he would do the safer option and just mail the gift.(he lives 6 hours away right now) So I said to come, but only stay a short while.

So now what? What do I do tomorrow. I feel like I just set myself back a month in his eyes. I hate that I want him as much as I do.....I'm just so emotionally confused and just want him to want me again and for him to give us one more chance. It seems like he thinks we are on more of a break than anything else...but at the same time he isn't giving me any hope that it'll workout in then in. What can I do or say tomorrow to swing him back towards me instead of away. I really need some advice here. I am so confused and I don't want to push him farther away than I already have.

[Boisdevie]

What do you do? Regret the fact that you invited your ex. They are your ex so why are you ****ing about inviting them anywhere. They are your EX - get it. EX EX EX

[confusius]

What do you do? Regret the fact that you invited your ex. They are your ex so why are you ****ing about inviting them anywhere. They are your EX - get it. EX EX EX

When you scream EX! is that suppose to ring a bell? I don't get why people always sound like an ex is some kind of disease you have to stay away from. If you still have lingering feelings for them; well it's not your fault. That's how I see it. And when it's your ex it doesn't necessary mean that you guys have zero chance of getting back together.

Not that you said it, but some people like to say it's your ex for a reason and blah blah. People change and they might change in a way that they may become a perfect match for each other. BUT we don't have to seat around and dream about getting them back.

[flynhayn]

When you scream EX! is that suppose to ring a bell? I don't get why people always sound like an ex is some kind of disease you have to stay away from. If you still have lingering feelings for them; well it's not your fault. That's how I see it. And when it's your ex it doesn't necessary mean that you guys have zero chance of getting back together.

Not that you said it, but some people like to say it's your ex for a reason and blah blah. People change and they might change in a way that they may become a perfect match for each other. BUT we don't have to seat around and dream about getting them back.

You're right, but you can't think like that. I know it doesn't make sense but your statement is one of the "truths" that you just have to ignore as if it were false. It's the only way you can move forward with your life without hindering your progress. Its great that you recognize that reconciliation is always possible, but it has to happen on its own. Giving in to your feelings that are still left over and trying to make something happen always has a 100% fail rate. Even if a spark re-ignites and maybe you guys get back together, its gonna fall apart somewhere again because it was too soon. Not enough time for the complete change and improvement to happen. It takes years to be honest. I'm only saying this because I used to think the same way until I learned the hard way too many times.

The smartest (and most effective) thing to do is just accept that nothing is gonna happen between you two any time soon, and nothing SHOULD happen. That way you can concentrate on yourself and doing whatever you want to better your own life.... then if it's supposed to happen, it will eventually happen.