boundaries in relationships

[IndiReloaded]

l
after our last fight, when he hadn't heard from me in 1 day, he sent a text...then the voicemails started a few days later (crying), after a week an email saying how wrong he was and he'll never find someone like me blah blah.......i didn't respond at ALL to any of these things..

Exactly^.

Don't worry about it. This guy has actually done you a favour: he has exposed your EX-GF as a lying, cheating, ho. Why would you lose any sleep over that? Someday, she will cheat on him too, or him on her.... karma is a bitch. Get ready to laugh her off when she calls (she will).

[mehwhatcanyoudo]

i really dont think she will call me again even though i have the urge to call her right now, i miss her like hell and it hasnt even been 24 hours. i wish things were the way they were a year ago.

yesterday was the worst day of my life, not only did i break up with my gf of almost 7 years but my second cousin came home in a coffin all thanks to the war in afghanistan.

it was on the news here and everything.

here is an article is anyone is interested

okay i cant paste links because i havent posted more then 15 posts. well if you google marcus case then there is an article about him

last night i sat here at my computer and drank myself spastic. i know it doesnt help the situation but i really needed to and being sober after such a rough day wasnt an option.

make it stop

[Nicholas_V]

i really dont think she will call me again

Good for you (though you may not realise it now). They usually do call though - eventually. Not that it should make any difference to you. You should refuse to talk to her anyway.

make it stop

It will, eventually. And no one can "make it stop" really but you.

[JadenMia]

Aw This post made me really sad, and also made me dislike a woman i never met! What a selfish b*tch.

All i can say, is think of this as a good thing. As hard as that may be, you no longer have a selfish cow in your life who treats you like crap. You can now stop wasting your time with her and find someone worthy of your love.
She will call, but DONT let her talk you into believing any of her bullshit.. Because she will try! Just stand your ground and do what you believe, look what she has put you through! You dont want to do this over and over.. It will happen again if you stick around. Best of luck to you!!!

[IncognitoSir]

OMG, that is A LOT to deal with at once, I can actually feel it through your words here man. It's terrible to know that someone you have this much history with manages to treat you such a horrible way. I'm sorry for your loss.....both of them. You need some support though man, friends, family, somebody to help you get through this mess. Whatever you do, DON'T GO BACK TO HER! She is BAD for you man. Use these forums to your benefit man, people are on here all day and night. Time will make this situation better.

[Cerby]

This thread is pretty much a perfect example of the damage posting on forums can do in some situations. Also a reason why I don't post my problems anymore (given none were as bad as this one).

A guy has a gf for 5 years, obviously there is some history, some back story, and something that lead up to this drama (which from what I can read, wasn't posted anywhere in here). People after 5 years of being together don't just out of the blue ignore the other person, it simply doesn't go down like that. When I read the first post he made, I thought "This girl is kind of a bitch, but I wonder what her side of the story is? Why did this happen?". And then a complete downward spiral of events happened. The OP was jogging this thread all night pushing the sympathy card, and people were posting comments that she was for sure cheating (Rule #3: Don't make assumptions).

As I followed this thread, I saw the situation get blown up on this forum, meanwhile they were not speaking at the time, so the ACTUAL situation remained still. By the time the night was over and the OP moved into the day, he saw no reason NOT to break up with her. He didn't post the details of the conversation/break up, which again indicates something was probably happening that he doesn't want the forum to know.

This thread is a stark reality as to why over-analyzing and anonymous advice aren't the best course of action in all situations.

[MaidenMinx]

I completely agree Cerby. I discovered that the first time I posted a 'problem' here. It wasn't even a problem really I just wanted an outside opinion and was told that my man doesn't want to be with me (amongst other things - both good and bad).

I personally was intrigued by this thread because my best friend was just dumped for something similar. She was at a friends place, her ex came over, they all got drunk, she went to pass out, he went to snuggle with her, she woke up in a panic, then her female friend jumped into bed with them, she truly freaked out and drove home drunk to get away from them. This thread gave me an idea of how her man was feeling that night (he was out of town). He had a gut feeling something was happening and even though my best friend didn't technically do anything wrong he broke up with her for putting him through that.

[JadenMia]

I agree with what has been said. You should only take everything said on here with a pinch of salt. Because obviously, how does anybody really know what is going on from one side of the story?
But i dont know, if this girl knows he is majorly upset about this situation, why in the world would she turn her phone off? Say it went dead, she could call off her friends phone. I dont know, if a man i love is seriously upset about something i am doing, even if its something i dont think is wrong of me to do.. I always make sure he feels somewhat okay about it. Wouldnt ignore him thats for sure and i probably would hate to think somebody i love would be at home drinking himself numb over something stupid like this.
I think the way this girl is acting, means something is seriously wrong. But, also just follow your gut instinct on everything that has happened. You know deep inside you what the right answer to your question is.

I am just saying this, as my daughters father used to do this ALL the time. He used to go out, not invite me, not make it home, disapear for the weekend. If i called him and asked where he was, he would argue against me. Say i was being stupid and turn his phone off. It drives you INSANE. I was pregnant at home, and used to get myself into some horrible states. Sit in my bed and cry for hours and hours until he came home. I just let it happen, the more and more i forgave him, the more it happened. It started happening every weekend and there was one weekend i was so upset i just packed all my stuff and left. Even though i know he never cheated on me, the fact he could just go out and ignore me, not invite me out or even have the decensy to reassure me everything was okay and keep his phone on him. I decided i had enough of the disrespect he was dishing out for me.
Im just trying to say, after 4 years he did it once. By the end of the year he was doing it every week.

People on here are too quick to just say 'leave'. But sometimes there is truth in the things people say. Good luck, you should keep us informed!

[MerryH]

This thread is pretty much a perfect example of the damage posting on forums can do in some situations.

I somewhat agree with this, but if there's any damage being done, I think it's more the fault of the individual asking for help than the general members of the forum. Same thing if the individual uses this forum as some sort of weird feedback loop for attention or sympathy. If anyone gets too attached to the words of internet strangers or takes their advice as gospel, then that's a bad decision on the part of the individual. Hearing an outsider's perspective can be extremely helpful and it probably helps more people than it hurts, but ultimately, everyone has to make up their own minds and take responsibility for their decisions.

But yeah, good points, Cerby. I also thought it was strange how people jumped to the conclusion that she was definitely cheating. The OP even said he didn't think she was hooking up with him.

Sorry, OP. You'll feel better soon.

[mehwhatcanyoudo]

the reason she turned off her phone was because when i spoke to her i got upset and i raised my voice, however i wasnt calling her names but i was just really angry, i couldnt help it. so yeah she turned off her phone. i then call the guy who she was staying with and he answerd, i spoke to him about why i was upset and he could see where i was comming from, i then asked to speak to my gf and he passed the phone on. i tried calling back a few hours later because i couldnt sleep and he would no longer answer my calls even though his phone was on and i asked my gf to turn on hers and she didnt.

im not going to take anyone words in here seriously i just wanted a general idea of what people were thinking. i dont beleive i should have been treated like this im not a nasty guy and i have never cheated on anyone before. the only reason why i yelled at her was because of the situation she put me in.

i even sat her down and said to her its human nature for me to be upset, there is a threat to our relationship and im not going to sit back and let it happen, i then even said EVEN IN THE ANIMAL KINDOM, EVEN ANIMALS ACT THE SAME!!!!? and she still just sat there with a cocky look on her face and couldnt understand where i was comming from. so after that we both agreeed to call it quits, it was like talking to a brick wall. and after the night i had before i just wanted it all to stop.

i miss her like hell and i really just want her in my arms right now i wish things were back to how they were a few weeks ago.

i have been dumped for caring about someone.......the irony, i dont get it.