Whats her deal ? Some clarity please.

[Balance11]

Known this girl for over a year now, she's kinda shy like emotionally shy, reserved, rather than around people shy,we've mainly had a text relationship but she tended to see me a lot at my work place if she was out drinking, and we talked everyday over text and sometimes she would ring me and we'd talk for quite a long time. About 3 months of knowing her i told her i liked her and she said she wasn't looking for anyhing but was flattered. I tried to just forget her and move on but she still kept texting me even though i stopped.Things kept going and we seemed to get alot closer. Recently I asked her if she wanted to go out sometime and she said yes. We went out had a great time but soon afterward things started to go down hill and the conversation went with it, however I decided to ask her to go out again she said yes but when the time came she bailed. It went further down hill from here


I was texting my friend telling her about the recent text's between me and this girl because my friend said she would give me some advice, however the text I was meant to send to my friend I accidentally sent to the girl I like which it was about, this was the text said:

''She's eventually replied to me and the convo was wasn't great not snotty, just kinda normal and she kept putting xx on the end whereas I put none and I'm not sure what to think about it anymore, though I'm happy still''

She said ''what do you want me to reply ?" I said nothing it wasn't meant for you, and then we stopped talking, texted her a day later trying to explain the text but didn't really go that well, she said she didn't know what to say to it and we stopped talking again, I left a few days and decided to make one last attempt to sort things out,

i sent her a long text fully explaining everything and telling her I was asking for advice off a friend about the situation with me and her and that I liked talking to her and wanted to keep doing so, she replied saying she wasn't not talking to me she just didn't know what to say and didn't realize there was a problem. I replied saying there wasn't a problem anymore that everything was okay and tried to start a normal conversation off again.

Since then the texting was practically none existent, we texted maybe twice a day then at some point she would not reply for a few days or till I text her again. Right now she hasn't replied to my last text which was a week ago and hasn't spoke/seen or had any form of contact with me for the same amount of time. Not here looking for hope of me and her getting together just want some clarity as to why this happened and why after a year she'd so easily drop me.

[curiousgurl29]

It looks like she has always just wanted to be friends with you. Sorry to tell you, but looks like she just isn't interested in you in the romantic sense. If anything good can come from her response, it is the clear message to you that she is not interested.Take it as a sign that you should move on.

[Dank]

She probably needs space and time....... Completely stop talking to her if she comes back then she might like you if she doesn't don't bother. Move on don't waste your time.

[Balance11]

Yea i'm leaving it for her to make a move frst, like i say i'm not thinking there's much hope of anything ever happening but i would like to know why she stopped talking to me completely after a year so i dont end up back in the same situation again.

[ConniptionFit]

Why do want to be with a girl who doesn't think you are attractive?

[imagineallthe]

Stop talking to her and let her come to you if anything. Imagine you're not that into a girl, and you find out she texts you that message - that it was meant for someone else, as if you're being discussed and measured. You'd think she was really into you, and probably stop the contact for a bit. ConniptionFit is right, why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

[Balance11]

There was something else which i havent mentioned that happened acouple of months back,

we were both out drinking, i was meant to go with my friends but she texted me asking me to go to the bar she was at, i did, spent awhile in there, she was complementing me, talking, having a good time, she started dancing on the bar (she works there, so she can) kept looking at me when she was dancing, we walked to another bar with her friends, i left them there and finally went to my friends, she kept texting me to go to the bar she was at, eventually i did go back. Spent rest of the night with her, we got a cab and she asked we going to yours or mine ? I said her's, went to hers drank some more, watch abit of this film we joke about in texts then went to bed played fight abit in her bed, bit of cuddling, no sex or sexual stuff. Dont think we kissed, cant fully remember.This happened a week or 2 before i asked her if she wanted to meet up.

That above along with the fact she went out that time when i asked and was excited to go out, and the fact we had a good time, gave me the impression (at the time that is not so much now) that she liked me. Which is why i dont get why it was such a big shock for her to find out i liked her and that she would just stop talking to me.She used to come to my work place alot as well, see me for abit, talk and stuff then she'd go home but as you can guess not recently.

Should have been mentioned earlier, but that is why i'm even bothering to ask for advice, had none of that occurred i would have just moved on by now.

[ConniptionFit]

There was something else which i havent mentioned that happened acouple of months back,

we were both out drinking, i was meant to go with my friends but she texted me asking me to go to the bar she was at, i did, spent awhile in there, she was complementing me, talking, having a good time, she started dancing on the bar (she works there, so she can) kept looking at me when she was dancing, we walked to another bar with her friends, i left them there and finally went to my friends, she kept texting me to go to the bar she was at, eventually i did go back. Spent rest of the night with her, we got a cab and she asked we going to yours or mine ? I said her's, went to hers drank some more, watch abit of this film we joke about in texts then went to bed played fight abit in her bed, bit of cuddling, no sex or sexual stuff. Dont think we kissed, cant fully remember.This happened a week or 2 before i asked her if she wanted to meet up.

That above along with the fact she went out that time when i asked and was excited to go out, and the fact we had a good time, gave me the impression (at the time that is not so much now) that she liked me. Which is why i dont get why it was such a big shock for her to find out i liked her and that she would just stop talking to me.She used to come to my work place alot as well, see me for abit, talk and stuff then she'd go home but as you can guess not recently.

Should have been mentioned earlier, but that is why i'm even bothering to ask for advice, had none of that occurred i would have just moved on by now.

She's upset because she thought you understood that you were simply her gay boyfriend and emotional tampon.

[Balance11]

Gay because i didnt have sex with her ? Not everyone has sex straight away, oh well know i know i must have sex with girl straight away in order not to be gay.

[ConniptionFit]

Gay because i didnt have sex with her ? Not everyone has sex straight away, oh well know i know i must have sex with girl straight away in order not to be gay.

Well, you are acting that way and she's clearly not into in a romantic sense.

Methinks you need to watch this:

[Balance11]

Why do you feel the need to post ? You have nothing to contribute to this thread, your post is useless unlike the other's, in future unless your offering something more helpful and useful don't post anything.

[imagineallthe]

she may have just been in it for the physical part. Sometimes, people like getting the attention, to flirt and have fun. That may be all she wanted. It's no deal breaker that you didn't have sex with her, I really doubt that's why she's been avoiding talking to you.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that you like her too, but she may have wussed out and got scared since you're more into her than she is into you..

[wiseguy]

If there was every any romantic interest on her part, there's still hope. You kinda made things awkward with your dopey text mistake, but s#$t happens. Your best hope is to become the very best YOU that you can become. When you are able to do so, whatever she liked about you before will be amplified 10x greater. Confidence is key. Being needy is un-attractive. People always want what they can't have and right now, you are way to accessible to her. As a man, you're job is to keep her attention and entertain her. If you can't do that, step up your game.

[Balance11]

Thank you both, since we stopped talking i decided to focus on myself alot more. Way i see it now is that i responded to her and she didn't reply therefore its upto her to initiate anything, if not great i'll move on, if so then i can work on not appearing so needy. Thinking on it the texting everyday numerous times aday was clear to her that i was there when she wanted, if anything i feel more hopeful now we've stopped talking. I refuse to make contact and appear needy again, by doing this she cant have me so easily, luckily for me i have my kickboxing training which vents alot of frustration out and takes my mind away from things. Also looking back at the time we seemed closest (to me at least) i know how i was acting. Positive,confident,laid back, not being a little lapdog to her, that kinda thing. So i intend to be like that again and will use the time from now till whenever or if ever she contacts me, to be that guy again, if she doesn't i will be that guy for some other girl, win/win situation. Thank you all very much.