Bipolar? Is it worth finding out? What do i need to do to help myself?

[KingZ]

As someone with bipolarity, I can tell you that going for a diagnosis and medication is life-altering. Lithium can (and sometimes will) ruin your life. Most people who get on it can't get off, and it kills your ability to feel pleasure. It doesn't really control depression as much as it controls mania.

I completely agree with Vashti. You're impulsively rushing into something that you'll be sorry for later.

If you're diagnosed with bipolarity, it is possible for your doctor to recommend that you stay in a psych ward. When you're mentally ill, you can legally be stripped of your rights. This isn't likely to happen, obviously, but you should know how serious this is. This isn't something you can go do, take drugs, tell all your friends about, and expect everything to be dandy.

[JadenMia]

Thankyou all for your time and feedback on this matter i appreciate it.

I think you may have mistaken my intentions a little bit. I am in no rush to go get labelled as bi-polar. This is a serious matter to me and for the sake of people around me. My question was 'is it worth finding out'. Which you have answered clearly it may not be. But dont mistake me for somebody who wants attention and have an excuse to act odd. That isnt it at all, i have some serious issues i would like to get to the bottom of. I know exactly what it is like to treated like a mental nut, i went through a horrible phase as i mentioned before and it ended in me taking an overdose which i had to be hospitalized and stay in a hospital for weeks. When i went back to school i had to have classes away from other kids, had to be reported to a special tutor in every lesson, had to go to counselling with family and all that kind of bull*.
I dont want to be treated like that again, nor do i ever want to get to the point i cant handle life anymore. Sounds pathetic to a lot of people but i cannot talk to anybody about it. I have no family and its just me and my daughter, I want to get better for her sake, i want to be the best parent i can and not put her through what my mother put me through.
Is that so wrong of me?
I mope, i got through happy phases where i feel okay, but a lot of the time i just am stressed to the point of breaking and feel angry and jealous to the point of vomiting. Over nothing at all.

I am not looking for medication, i am simply looking for something to help me out of feeling like this. I am not rushing into anything, i am simply going to a doctor to tell him how i feel, not to push for a diagnosis either as some of you have stated? Bi-polar came to mind as i have been researching my symptoms and this was the closest i got. Lithium was brought up here and i was simply asking if that what he was suggesting. I never ever said i was going to take it, i actually said i didnt want to take that many pills if you read.

All i am looking for is something to make me feel normal, not upset and stressed, jealous, sick, worried etc.. I wanted opinions and i expected a variety. I just dont appreciate been told to 'grow up'. That to me, is insulting and almost like making fun of someone for asking for help and wanting to get better when there is obviously something wrong.

Thanks.

[vashti]

All i am looking for is something to make me feel normal, not upset and stressed, jealous, sick, worried etc..

What makes you think these feelings aren't "normal"? I am pretty sure "normal" people feel these things, too. In fact, to NOT feel them would be "abnormal".

[JadenMia]

What makes you think these feelings aren't "normal"? I am pretty sure "normal" people feel these things, too. In fact, to NOT feel them would be "abnormal".

I agree they maybe normal. In fact i would hope they are normal. In which case i would like to find better ways to deal with these kind of feelings, because although they maybe normal i dont feel i can handle them maybe as well as other people. I kind of let my feelings and emotions take over a little bit. In reality i just dont like having the 'breakdowns' that come with it if that makes sense. I admit, my life isnt quite what i had hoped for which may be the cause of all this. I am working hard to change my lifestyle and i keep hoping that a change would settle my problems.
I dont know, i sometimes just feel like its hard to get anywhere when you have nothing going for you which certainly makes these mood ruts hard to get out of, hard to think positively.

[vashti]

You will like yourself better if you learn to deal with uncomfortable emotions the natural way rather to rely upon medications. You are MEANT to feel things, even uncomfortable things, and you need some contrast in your emotions in order to have a basis of comparison. If you never felt sad, then how could you appreciate the times when you are happy, when one day would feel like the next?

YOu haven't said anything that sounds abnormal to me. If you feel you are having some difficulty processing your emotions, I think you would do yourself a much bigger favor by seeking some cognitive therapy.

[Wakeup]

I mope, i got through happy phases where i feel okay, but a lot of the time i just am stressed to the point of breaking and feel angry and jealous to the point of vomiting. Over nothing at all.

I wouldn't call that reaction exactly "normal." The majority of people out there don't do that when feeling stressed, or worried or any of the other emotions you mentioned. When they do feel the feelings of stress, worry, sadness, etc there is usually a good catalyst for those feelings. You say these feelings are evoked "over nothing at all." I'd say that reason right there is a very good reason to seek some professional guidance for yourself. There's nothing wrong in the head with wanting to be right in your head. Yes, I do believe it is worth it for you to seek out answers about you from professionals.

If during your sessions it is determined that your brain chemicals are off kilter then medication will help to right that for you. When you're balanced out you will still "feel" you will just do it in a more balanced manner. There will of course be trial and error at first until your meds (if meds are needed at all) are being prescribed best for you.

Why stress, worry, be jealous, angry anxiety ridden, sick to your stomach FOR NO REASON any longer. Go to your family doc and as for a referral. Just talking to someone who has a degree in psychology may be enough for you to figure yourself out and you'll not need any meds at all. However; you'll never know unless you try.

Good luck.

[JadenMia]

Yes exactly, i dont feel the extent of my feelings are normal. I know that everyone has bad days and good days. But the simple things can send me into absolute turmoil and i absolutely resent it. Angry at myself for letting it go that far.. I try my best at times to think straight and see it is not as mad as i have conjured up in my mind. But when it gets bad, there is no way of thinking straight. Sometimes there is perfectly okay reasons. And like i say i have gotten better over time from what i was at one point. But i would really like to be able to go do something and not vomit before because i am so worried, things happen with my partner and not go into a rage. My daugher upset and needing something and me just lose it and break down crying.
My doctor booked me into counselling and said if that doesnt work then we will go into other options available. Even to just stop my anxiety. Thanks for your advice! I feel the counselling is going to help me alot more than anything else will.

[Wakeup]

Good luck, Jadenmia. It's good to hear you're looking after yourself... :o)

[im_in_love]

I read through the first post, and a majority of the rest of the posts, and I could swear I wrote this. I am the same exact way. I've wondered if I was bi-polar for years. I've had friends and family members even tell me I need to get checked out. And whoever said these feelings are normal, they are not. If you think they're normal, I would seriously worry about the people you interact with daily... I am almost exactly like you, OP, in that I get EXTREMELY angry over the smallest things. And things can throw me into a fit of rage for hours and usually a whole day. I'm constantly paranoid, at a very high level of anxiety, also to the point of vomiting multiple times.. I don't have much of the jealousy side of it, but my biggest issue would be the rage and depression. Some days I am euphoric, as well. And then one little thing will completely send me into a spiral. It's very dangerous, for me anyway, because I have a hard time controlling my anger. I don't get physical with other people, I get very verbal. Then I end up having to either hit myself or the wall/bed to calm down somewhat, and that'll cause me to cry and cry and cry.

I'm sure you know that it is atleast somewhat manageable without medication, but it can be very hard to live with. I agree that your situation sounds like the classic bi-polar. I wish you luck with treatment

[vashti]

Well, here's an article by a doctor who at least has it HALF right.

[url=http://www.newsweek.com/2011/06/19/mommy-am-i-really-bipolar.html]U.S. Children Misdiagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Newsweek[/url]

"Bipolarism" is the "designer label" of this decade. We saw it in the 90s with ADD/ADHD. We saw it before then with "recovered memories". The only thing I know for sure is that people - for some very odd reason - love to attach themselves to a mental illness. Perhaps it is to diminish personal responsibility for ones behavior? After all, it is a lot easier to say "I'm sick" than it is to actually CHANGE your behavior.

[JadenMia]

Well, here's an article by a doctor who at least has it HALF right.

[url=http://www.newsweek.com/2011/06/19/mommy-am-i-really-bipolar.html]U.S. Children Misdiagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Newsweek[/url]

"Bipolarism" is the "designer label" of this decade. We saw it in the 90s with ADD/ADHD. We saw it before then with "recovered memories". The only thing I know for sure is that people - for some very odd reason - love to attach themselves to a mental illness. Perhaps it is to diminish personal responsibility for ones behavior? After all, it is a lot easier to say "I'm sick" than it is to actually CHANGE your behavior.

Although i agree with most of what you have said. I hate it when kids especially are misdiagnosed and parents are all too quick to shove drugs in their kids to stop bad behaviour, i also believe that alot of people do like to diagnose themselves with a mental illness for sympathy, to be different. Whatever it is why they do it. But i actually have tried and tried to change myself to no success, i realise that my behaviour is not ok, and also not easy to handle and i wanted to change. Which brings me to think that maybe there is something wrong. For me, i just want to KNOW why i am like i am, which is why i am searching for answers. Not because it was easier that way or anything else.
I have been attending my therapy sessions and it is doing the world of good for me, it just helps me understand everything so much more and doesnt leave me left wondering and worrying. I am currently content and happy and have been for a while since i see what is wrong. I would recommend it to anyone.

[DarkHelmet82]

im glad therapy is working for you. Im on meds and therapy and I still feel like shit... how long have you been going?

[JadenMia]

im glad therapy is working for you. Im on meds and therapy and I still feel like shit... how long have you been going?

Thanks, i have been attending therapy for nearly 2 months now. I think to just be able to spill my feelings and thoughts to someone that is completely unbiased is just SO helpful. They are professional, so you take their advice and input seriously, but most of all, i have learned it is only YOU that can let yourself get out of that 'rut' we sometimes feel. Just looking at the sky sometimes, knowing that you are never alone in this world, that there are so many people feeling the same thing make you feel like you are accompanied somehow. To really appreciate everything in your life you have, you need to think it yourself. No meds or anyone else can do that for you, it really is a lesson learned for me, i have been calmer and found ways to help deal with everything, things that used to feel like the end of the world, are now just something that happen in life, and no matter what everything will be okay and blow over.

[MaidenMinx]

Well, here's an article by a doctor who at least has it HALF right.

[url=http://www.newsweek.com/2011/06/19/mommy-am-i-really-bipolar.html]U.S. Children Misdiagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Newsweek[/url]

"Bipolarism" is the "designer label" of this decade. We saw it in the 90s with ADD/ADHD. We saw it before then with "recovered memories". The only thing I know for sure is that people - for some very odd reason - love to attach themselves to a mental illness. Perhaps it is to diminish personal responsibility for ones behavior? After all, it is a lot easier to say "I'm sick" than it is to actually CHANGE your behavior.

That is all true. We are also seeing it with Autism at the moment too. Parents are actually seeking diagnosis for kids that are just a bit delayed because of the support available for kids with ASD. The jokes on them really because all of these resources are so stretched that only the worst cases end up with assistance. But that's a rant for another day.

The true downside to overdiagnosis of any disorder is that it becomes harder and harder to be taken seriously if you do have a problem. And for people that do have aq problem, they need to know so it can be taken into account by anyone trying to help. More specific coping skills can be taught and in the case of neuro-chemical imbalance proper meds can be prescribed.

I

[Wakeup]

Thanks, i have been attending therapy for nearly 2 months now. I think to just be able to spill my feelings and thoughts to someone that is completely unbiased is just SO helpful. They are professional, so you take their advice and input seriously, but most of all, i have learned it is only YOU that can let yourself get out of that 'rut' we sometimes feel. Just looking at the sky sometimes, knowing that you are never alone in this world, that there are so many people feeling the same thing make you feel like you are accompanied somehow. To really appreciate everything in your life you have, you need to think it yourself. No meds or anyone else can do that for you, it really is a lesson learned for me, i have been calmer and found ways to help deal with everything, things that used to feel like the end of the world, are now just something that happen in life, and no matter what everything will be okay and blow over.

Good to hear Jade.

I read through the first post, and a majority of the rest of the posts, and I could swear I wrote this. I am the same exact way. I've wondered if I was bi-polar for years. I've had friends and family members even tell me I need to get checked out. And whoever said these feelings are normal, they are not. If you think they're normal, I would seriously worry about the people you interact with daily... I am almost exactly like you, OP, in that I get EXTREMELY angry over the smallest things. And things can throw me into a fit of rage for hours and usually a whole day. I'm constantly paranoid, at a very high level of anxiety, also to the point of vomiting multiple times.. I don't have much of the jealousy side of it, but my biggest issue would be the rage and depression. Some days I am euphoric, as well. And then one little thing will completely send me into a spiral. It's very dangerous, for me anyway, because I have a hard time controlling my anger. I don't get physical with other people, I get very verbal. Then I end up having to either hit myself or the wall/bed to calm down somewhat, and that'll cause me to cry and cry and cry.

How old are you? I ask because it almost sounds like you are going through menopause. Have you ever had your hormones checked out?