Hi All,

I met a girl in January at work. About the situation: I am graduate student at a university, and she is an undergrad here. She is fantastic. I did not know at the time she was in a 5 year relationship, but after I did I understood, and kept it light. We flirted at work, I showed her that I was charming, smart, funny, and caring...some of the things that were def. not a part of her life as of late. Things started growing, and after she broke up with her bf in March, things started to get hot and heavy between us. We spent EVERY DAY together. She was reassuring me that I was NOT a rebound, and that she's never met someone more genuine or who has a bigger heart in her life. We have been steadily falling for eachother, however, there has now been some wrenches thrown into the situation. First of all, she moved back home; this is her first time being "single" (nothing has been made official between us), and she was emphatic about wanting to do her thing with her friends. I'm not a possessive person, and told her that I respect that and encourage it not only now, but in the future as well. We have been steadily seeing each other every week, seeing as I have a band that practices near her parents house. I've been getting increasingly anxious about my situation: the job, the loans, the ambiguity of the status of where we stand (we've done everything sexually together though). She reassures me sometimes, but last week at her birthday, the stress came out while drinking. I basically started crying and had a mini panic attack and scared her. I never disrespect her, but I know I definitely scared her with my actions that night. Ever since (we have hung out), she's been very distant electronically. I've gotten the hint and have just kept things light between us, joking every so often, and sending her some youtube videos or something every few days. However, I still just feel so awful. She said that this time will be good for us to grow on our own, seeing as that we both were kind of going strong. I know that on the surface that it makes sense, and I definitely needed to chill (not usually prone to anxiety attacks), but maintaining day to day working on my resume and working at this one job has just got me so depressed. I cry every morning because I think shes the key to my happiness, which she is not. I know that I need to be right with myself, however, did I ruin things for good? I guess I just wanted some feedback...I know I need to maintain but crying everyday makes things terribly difficult, hence why I posted on this board.