Dating and pressure.

[Reeses]

Hi forum, I apologize in advance for rambling (I'm just nervous about this)

I've liked this girl for quite a while now. Tomorrow is the last day of school and I was thinking of asking her out for some bubble tea (basically the equivalent of asking her out to coffee) the following Friday. We have one class together and I want to ask her as we're walking out - good idea? I'm guessing the conversation would go something like:

"Hey are you free next friday?"
"Yes, why?"
"I'm not doing anything either, you wanna go to towne center? get some boba?"
"Sure" or "no get the hell away from me loser!" lol

I'm pretty confident that she has some interest in me, but I think of myself as a rather boring person, and am scared that I might just bore the hell out of her. The pressure comes in when it is dead silent between us, I would presume. I really don't want to blow this so how should I avoid that awkward 10-20 second silence, because I really don't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

By the way I'm going to 9th grade next year.

[devonbrown]

I think asking her is a good thing. Remember that girls like guys who are confident, so be confident in yourself. Realize that if she says no, it isn't the end of the world. There could be a million reasons why she would say no. She will be flattered you even thought to ask her though. And if she says yes, that is great.

Don't overthink it, don't worry about the pressure of silence between you, just ask her and be cool about whatever she answers. It will work out to be the best.

Good luck.

[Reeses]

first of all thanks for the encouragement about making the first move though, do you think the way i said id ask is alright? I know you said dont overthink it, which is true, but nervousness typically makes me really senseless. Again, i really appreciate your reply

[devonbrown]

Yes, the way you described doing it sounds fine. You just have to be confident in your approach.

[Reeses]

hm, i thimk i can muster up some confidence... Thanks man

[Deeza07]

And make sure you smile and look her in the eye while you're asking her - this shows confidence and will also show her that you're genuine.

Good luck and let us know how you go!

[Reeses]

And make sure you smile and look her in the eye while you're asking her

haha i know that eye contact is important but where's the line that separates eye contact from staring her down?

[KingZ]

haha i know that eye contact is important but where's the line that separates eye contact from staring her down?

When she looks away, probably. Don't lock her in if she's trying to get out.

[Bonfire]

"Hey are you free next friday?"
"No, why?"
"I'm not doing anything either, you wanna go to towne center? get some boba?"

I know this is an imagine conversation but I really like the fact that when you ask if she was free and she said "no" but you still proceeded to ask her out for boba. You know what your objective was and stuck to it. Impressive.

[Reeses]

O haha i meant to type "yes why".

[devonbrown]

But Bonfire does have a point. Stay confident in what it is that you want. But be careful not to just ignore what she says. You have to stay flexible enough to adjust as things go.

[Reeses]

Well, today i asked her "are you free next friday?" but couldnt get in the actual "asking for boba" part. I wouldve, but she just walked away and i couldnt catch up because this bitch behind me was bothering me, saying "ooo [name] about to make his move" ... Dammit im so sad right now i dont know what to do.

Should i just forget about it or call her next week?

[Ly-Tasha]

Okay cheer up this is just the beginning. She probably knows that you like her, so you could let it die down for a day or two or just do it when that loser is not around. I think is would be best to ask her when whoever that was is not around, remember you are confident and even if she says "No" you can say I just wanted to make you smile!

[Reeses]

@Ly-tasha well school has already ended... so i can only call or text now, which will make it even more awkward sorry about my language...

[Windmillback]

When I was your age and thought about asking a girl out for 2 weeks, because I was too shy. I found that after 2 weeks some other guy had not waited all that time and already taken her out. That is when I decided that shyness had to go, no more. I asked every girl that I liked and without thinking it through or any hesitation. While with a girl if things got silent for a minute because I got shy, I would grin and tell her with a smile that I am kinda nervous because I really dig her. From that moment I got lots of girls. It really makes you confident and you learn to not sweat the occassional rejection, it is a numbers game. What I also learned is that while I thought that a pretty girl made me nervous sometimes, the truth was most of the time that the girl was twice as nervous as I was. The rejections are just practice rounds to hone your, should I say, skills. Good Luck in the persuit of pretty girls, go get them!