i can't give up his baby pictures

[elleda]

i have them stashed away. i am comforted knowing that they are there..they make me happy. but i don't know if i could deal with looking at them. i just like to think of them from time to time. he was a really beautiful baby. and grew up to be a physically beautiful man....with some major issues that he refuses to face and a serious disrespect for women.

that's not who i saw back when i loved him before things got really bad. i had this person that i held in my heart and that i saw in those baby pictures ...who never existed.

i don't even really like kids...but he has seriously the cutest baby pics i have ever seen in my entire life!

is this healthy?

ps: i have blocked him in every way possible and hope for my heart, that i never see or hear from him again. too hurtful.

[Wakeup]

I had to read some of your prior posts to figure out your history with this guy and from what I gather you had a codependent, addiction to him where you broke off and got back together repeatedly.

I suggest you google codependency and read up on that and go to the library for free and read some books on the subject so that you know what ails you. When you know whats wrong, you can consciously avoid making the same mistakes in future relationships. What you had with this man will steal your joy and make you a shell of yourself in no time at all.

Are you in therapy to help you get through the withdrawl from him?

As for your most recent question regarding this man and the hell he and you have endured... I can't understand why his baby photos would make you feel happy except for maybe it is one last thing you have that ties you to him because you so fear being abandoned by him? Even if you were the one to last break it off he still abandoned you when he couldn't be the person you needed him to be.

Keeping his baby photos is like an addict keeping his drug paraphanilia and telling himself it won't tempt him to have another hit. You need to figure out why these pictures make you happy and then decide if the reason is healthy and productive to your moving on and totally becoming indifferent in emotional response to your addiction (him). If keeping them is hindering your process and keeping thoughts of him forefront in your mind then keeping them is not in your own best interests.
Becoming indifferent to him should be your main goal at this point.

I'd discuss your question with your therapist. If you don't have one then I suggest you seek one out through your family physician who will give a referral to someone professional that you can dig deep and spill your guts to while you discuss ways to improve self worth, eliminate codependency issues and learn ways to ensure you know how to be happy with yourself in general.

Best to you.

[elleda]

I'm codependent??

I always thought it was them..but now I can see how that would make sense.

I think you might be right about the pictures. I hate that my own mind is playing tricks on me.

I'm googling that now and I can see that my ex and his "best friend" ex fit the bill to a T...I don't get how I do?

Doesn't everyone obsess over their ex for a bit after a breakup? Even if they were horrible people?? It's not like I am contacting him or hoping we'll get back together.

Ugh confused. But listening...

[elleda]

oh....ouch. now i get it.

[url=http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/signs-of-a-codependent-relationship]Signs of a Codependent Relationship[/url]thanks for your help