why does love scare a girl off?

[ufas1987]

I have a question for girls. In your opinion, why is it so hard now a days for a "hopeless romantic" guy to find someone? Why do girls leave a nice guy hurting and fall head over heals for guys that treat them like crap??? And also....why is it so hard for a girl with a bad and hurtful past commit to a man that treats them with love and respect? Does it really benifit to be a nice guy in todays society?

[Cerby]

I'd love to know the answer to this, it sounds like you're talking about my ex. . .

[ufas1987]

im just asking this cuz every girl ive cared about ive told them how I felt and it scared them off. And the ones i just didnt feel it for i was totally honest with and told them to not lead them on....its only fair to them. They are still friends of mine and still say im a wonderful guy. This one i just broke up with was totally into me and i felt the same about her but her crappy past marriage and divorce was catching up with her and she just threw up a wall.....she also said i was a wonderful guy but now she doesnt talk to me at all. If im such a wonderful guy why im a still continuing to get hurt. I wish they would stop saying it and just give me a chance and commit to a happy relationship.

This is a question ive been wanting to know for awhile now cuz i have a friend thats a total womanizer. He is a good friend but a total A hole to girls. Get this....he will tell all these girls that want a relationship with him that hes messing around with other girls just to piss them off. these girls get pissed at him but still run back to him......I just dont understand this at all. I was raised not to be like that. I just dont understand why girls would go for a guy that will hurt them.

[Bonfire]

It's because you don't understand a women's psyche. They have evolved to select and be attracted to strength and status. Men who are successful with women carry these traits. They are confident alpha males. When a men is wanted by other women they have a high status. Women are competitive in this way. Beta males aka hopeless romantics shows qualities that exhibit weakness. Doing nice things to win a girl over is exactly that. These alpha males or jerks aren't treating them bad, they simply treating women like they are not special. Men who can do that are seen as having high value and therefore women will be attracted to that. Hopeless romantics have a distorted view of relationships because they learn it from movies, books, and music that are written by other beta males who want to paint a fantasy that women are attracted to these beta/romantic tactics. But that's not how it works in real life and you are frustrated because that's what you are witnessing.

[Ugly_Idiot]

There are those nice girls who like those nice guys, it's just finding them.

But i've never been that type, i believe in keeping women on edge and not letting your guard all the way down, show no weaknesses. Most women if they see those weaknesses they usually play on them, expose them even more, and then it just ends up in shit!

Thats my take on it

[ufas1987]

from what Ive noticed I think your right. I just dont see myself being an asshole to anyone. Its just so odd to me that every girl i become involved in will tell me they are tired of getting hurt and are lucky to have me....then 4 or 5 months roll by and they just simply lose feelings and attraction to me. I guess thats the only way to keep a healthy relationship is by keeping someone im involved with on edge and play with there heads.....this makes NO sence to me but its working for everyone else. Nice guys do finish last.

How the hell does a nice guy succeed without having to turn into an asshole? Im asking this because your right I dont understand. I dont understand why a girl will kling to a guy that treats her like crap. Im also tired of being let down. Im tired of girls telling me that im a wonderful guy then walk stright out of my life. If im so wonderful whats the big problem?? Bonfire.....when you siad that women are attracted to guys that dont treat them special, doesnt that sound a little odd/stupid to you? Why dont girls want to be treated special? I see every girl as special....how am i suppose to not do that? To me it sounds like for me to succeed gonna have to dump all my morals and values and do things i dont think are right. Im not dogging women when I say this but it seems to me like they really dont know what they want half the time.

Oh ya....this is a "ask a female" forum. Bonfire....unless your profile lies...your a male there is a reason I posted this on "ask a female" forum. You do have a point but Im asking a womens opinion on this one.