Dont think i know what i want?
I have come to a conclusion, that i dont really know what i want relationships wise. 2 years ago i got into an amazing relationship, fast forward to now everything has turned sour. We dont get along, the amount of things we have done to each other has caused huge resentment from the both of us and most of our relationship consists of arguing and tears.
I did find the guts to leave him a few months back. At first it was amazing and i didnt think i would ever end up back with him.. But after a while, i felt so lonely and depressed i ended up asking him back. A part of me thought we would have gotten better, that our problems will get better, but they havnt at all. Right back to where we were. Our main problems is his disrespect in how he treats me. People say its abusive behaviour and i dont know if it really is or not..
Now i am back to where i was, i cant believe i thought things were going to get better! lol Its like my mind changes on me all the time.. When i wasnt with him, i wanted him. When i am with him, i want someone to love me like i deserve..
I spend my time day dreaming about having a man who would love me and treat me like a person..
Ever since i met this man i feel i have been in complete 'lala land', completely crazy about him, yet i know deep down i deserve so much more.
Has anyone else been so confused about what they want relationship wise? What advise would someone give me to end this for good? I am not even sure i love him anymore, i feel i am with him because i cannot stand being without him. I feel majorly depressed when im not with him and i am scared to feel like that again. He is almost like an addiction.. A very unhealthy one.
Thanks in advance.
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