Complicated Relationship

[bman]

Hi All,

I'm a little confused about this and I thought this at first when we first started the relationship, but now I feel it on and off sometimes more often.

Me(25) and my girlfriend who is now my fiance (35) have been with each other intimately since Aug of 2010. During our first month together before we were intimate we used to go everywhere, eat out for dinner or lunch, or go to places just on a friendly relationship basis. One night one thing lead to another and we had sex.

Anyways, a few weeks pass by we do it a couple times and then she brings up the fact that she already has a kid from a previous relationship, divorced, and is 10 years older then me. She told me I deserve someone better. But at that point, I was already in love with her, I just saw something in her that I've never had with any other girls and I told her how much I loved her. She told me several times and I said I don't care about her past, what happens from this point on and so on is what matters to me.

So 2-3 months later we were in the car and she would bring up the fact that sometimes she feels like I'm her little brother and I sometimes feel the same way too, but not as much as I do now. We both thought it was a little weird but we kind of didn't think of it anymore.

Few months pass by and it's June now. lately it's been a little bit more of that feeling now. I love her to death and I would do anything for her, but I too sometimes feel like she's a sister or a motherly figure. She even called me son like 2 times jokingly.

I know this is all too weird for everyone else here, but here I am posting to see if anyone has any experience in this whatsoever and if there is any explanation for it.

I love her intimately and much more, but sometimes i feel like I watch over her like a brother protecting her sister. We are open about everything with each other, we talk about anything and everything. I'm just trying to figure out if this is normal..to all the people here....to all the people here who love their partner, do you ever get the feeling like he / she is family and you will take care of them no better or worse?

I'm pretty open minded and thick skinned so go on and say what you need to say! :-)

[Rhainnonxx]

i personally don't think thats weird at all, when you love someone they do become family. age is only a number and because people probably say a lot of stuff about it to you (i'm guessing they do) you could just be mistaking a protective feeling over the woman you love for a brotherly feeling. you obviously love her! don't freak yourself out

[Windmillback]

My concern is not you, but her. The age difference is certainly not weird. Age can be merely a number, but it takes for a person to have an outlook on life that enables them to not only think of age as merely a number but to really feel it. I think that your girlfriend sees in you (through very small details) a person that is in a place where she was 10 years ago. Having children make you feel even older when you spend time with a person who doesn't. I am not saying that she feels that you are immature, but our lives do go through stages and we progress. But, no doubt, she cares for you and loves you, so how is she going to tell you. It looks like she has been trying to subtlely tell you, but any slip of wording and it is going to sound to you as if she is telling you that you are less mature than she is. So, she is in a difficult position as well.

[oldskool83]

my ex and i are about same differance as you, we met when i was 25 and she was 34. i didnt know her age til 3 weeks after seeing her. me nigher said she was 27 and i never questioned it. she prob just wants to test ya and see why ya really wanna be with her. my ex use to call youngin and i call her mama early on at times. id pass it off, if ya like each other it will work out. i like older women anyway, ive always gotten alone with um better.

[devonbrown]

People in a relationship begin to feel like their partner is family as a relationship progresses. But there has to still be attraction and desire. Otherwise it just falls into a friendship category.

I guess I am worried if she feels like a mother to you, because that would probably make her start to resent you after a while. No woman wants to be a mother to her boyfriend.

Of course, you two could always use this to add a little kink in the bedroom. Some people like that.

Good luck.

[bman]

I don't think she sees herself as a mother all the time because if you look at it that way, then I am more of a father figure for her then she is a mother with some of the things she does and me having to watch out for her or help her out with. In the end though, we still love each other mutually. Thanks for all the post, it helped me figure out a few things and gave me a little bit more confidence as well. I truly love her with all my heart and I hope things work out between us. Thanks again folks.