Hi I am new to this forum and really need advice from someone and I dont know where to turn. I dont want to ask my friends or family because I find it really embarrassing and upsetting to talk about and I dont always think they give me a straight answer because they dont want to hurt my feelings. So if you can bear with me for the next 5 minutes and read what I am going through and give me your honest opinion I would really appricate it.
I have been dating my g/f for about a year and 3 months now she has a child of her own who I am pretty close with now. She likes me alot and my g/f has mentioned several times to me and behind my back that part of the reason she is with me is because of my relationship with her daughter. I am well and truly loved up with this girl and I thought she felt the same way until recentley. Long story short I have never really trusted her from the start because she has a reputation from her past for being abit of a cheat. She has changed now though and not just a little bit but drastically. She used to be a hardcore drug addict and is now clean and doing well with her life. I am also similar to her as I was a heavy pot smoker which she blamed for my paranoia. I have given up the pot now but still find myself with the same trust issues.
She has alot of male friends from her past who she still talks to and claims that all her ex's where ok with this. I havent dated in a while and have no idea if I should be ok with her having alot of guy friends? One of whom I found dirty texts on her phone from him and she claimed that he speaks to all girls this way and thats just the way he is. She also says that they are purley just friends and she couldnt sleep with him because she see's him as almost a brother. I told her she cannot continue to have contact with him if she wants us to work and she spoke to him and saw him like twice over the last 6 months. Now she has stated that she needs friends in her life because I have my male friends who I see once or twice a week and she claims she has no one to talk to except for me. She says if she doesnt have outside contact she will start using drugs again out of bordem. I agreed that she should have friends to because its not really fair for her to have no one when I have my mates.
This boy who sent her the dirty texts has now been up to see her and she says he was there with another friend and it wasnt just her and him alone, he also only spent about an hour there and then left. Before this she has also been to some other boys house who she claims is a mate and has a g/f who was there to, she has been to his house twice in two weeks. I picked her up from there but she didnt let me pick her up from his house but had me wait at the end of his street. I later found out that it couldnt be the dirty text boys house because he lives somewhere else. She claims they are old friends that she bumped into in Asda, I was there and did meet these boys but I havent seen them since because I didnt drive up to their house. A few days later she text me telling me she left me a message on Facebook saying 'Miss you xx'. Then two boys liked this comment because she posted it on her own page and not on mine. One of the boys is from far far away so dont understand why he liked it but another lad who liked it is from her college. Which got me thinking maybe he thought she was saying miss you to him? Could this be the boy whos house I picked her up from twice?
I called her on all this and accused her of cheating and she went bat shit on me. Saying that she is sick of me not trusting her and that if she wanted another guy then why would she be with me? She has refused to have sex with me for the past 2 weeks because we have been arguing alot. I really love her and think she loves me to but when you put all that evidence together it looks pretty bad right? I dont want to break up with her incase im wrong and she is telling the truth and nothing is going on but I dont want to be cheated on. What should I do?????
When I accuse her of cheating she goes mental which makes me think she is telling the truth but is this just her way of distracting me? Any tips or tricks would be helpful I read about sending her a card or flowers with no name on them and see if she asks me about them? If she doesnt then she is probably trying to hide something because she isnt sure if they are off me or her possible cheating partner. The other thing I could do is sit outside her house in my car next time she has a mate up and see who it is and how long he stays. I am so close to bringing it up again but if I do and I'm wrong or even if I'm right she will deny it then she says it is over because she cant deal with this anymore. I have accused her alot in the past when she hadnt actually done anything but this is the most convinced I have ever been that this time she is cheating. I need evidence. Any advice would be fantastic thanks for your time.