Originally Posted by
nativeaustin83
I've been dating my boyfriend for about five months. About three weeks ago he started taking Zoloft for depression and anxiety and it has completely KILLED his sex drive. He used to have a high sex drive and I really enjoyed our sex life. Now, he has absolutely none. I can hardly keep it hard for him for a few seconds. He says Zoloft is the only thing that has worked for him in the past and he can't go back to the doctor because his doctor isn't on his insurance and it's really expensive.
I have a very high sex drive and I'm very attracted to him. I hate laying skin to skin with him and not getting anything but hugs and kisses. It makes it all the worse because I feel so much more desire! I feel like I'm falling in love with him, but I also catch myself fantasizing about other men (and him) constantly. I wouldn't cheat on him, but tonight I texted an old boyfriend and we did some "sexting" and I feel terrible! I don't know what to do, but I feel seriously deprived and the fact that he never wants sex (despite being with me constantly) makes me feel unattractive. It was nice to get some sexual attention via text from my ex, but now I feel really bad! I don't know what to do though! It's fine when I'm single and not have close contact with someone I'm attracted to on a regular basis. Dry spells are okay then. However, when I'm always around him, touching him, kissing him, and being near me it just makes me crazy horny, unlike when I was single.
Anyone ever deal with a problem like this?
I've been so cracked out on Anti-depressants that it was nearly impossible for me to get off. I've always had a pretty high sex drive to begin with, but frankly going for hours and not getting to finish repeatedly was depressing. So, I just kinda mostly stopped. I got tired of women blaming themselves for not getting me off, when really it really was just me and a bad reaction to medication.
Other options for him: Call the doctor's office, explain the situation regarding insurance, and ask if they can phone in a prescription for a lower dose. Sometimes doctors have a sliding price scale and will work with you. There area also health clinics he can go to for help. Now, I'm not a doctor but he might be able to say, cut the pill in half and lower his dose that way. I don't really recommend this, but I tend to cut my xanax pills down so I can take smaller doses.
Your needs are important, and his needs are important. The two of you need to work out how to work around this. As for his depression, if he's not actively talking to a therapist and developing mental tools to work through his problems, then he's simply attempting to medicate a problem that won't go away ever. I know, my wife has clinical depression. I help her with this every day.
Here's the deal. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. You have to take care of your mind, and your body, and it's a cost of living just like food or rent or clothes. It's a part of life and you have to commit to paying the necessary costs to get better.
If he can't meet your needs in the relationship then you need to both do the right thing and find other people. Either you can live with the situation, he can and will change it of his own volition, or you need to break up. There's no real middle ground here, and you're already starting to stray and betray him to meet your needs. It's a pretty good sign that something needs to change and change fast or the relationship is dead.
"Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."