I'm not sure if any of you remember me from my threads a few months back. If not, long story short, me and my ex broke up about 6 months ago, had a pretty bad break up. She always calls me once every month or two, and up until yesterday this wasn't a problem. We both kept our cool, just asked how each other were, and that was that. It had been a while since I'd heard from her, and I was actually feeling pretty good. I felt horrible for about 4 months, and things were just starting to look up. I thought I was really getting over her.
A few days back she called me again. She mentioned that she had a new boyfriend, but that she can't stop thinking about me, and that she feels like she could never connect with anyone again like we had. I was crushed hearing that she had someone else, but I didn't show it at all. We talked a bit more and eventually I just said I had to go. I shrugged the whole thing off and went on with my day. The next day she messaged me on my facebook, asking me to please block her because she can't stand seeing my pictures and my smile, etc., etc. She said she'd block me but then she'd just unblock me whenever she felt like looking. I said sure, and told her I understood where she was coming from. I shrugged it off again, figuring I wouldn't be hearing from her again, at least not for a while.
Then last night she calls me again. This time she was crying and asking me "why did you do this to us?", "why did you have to start working on your issues after I was gone?". She told me she's so confused, she doesn't ever want me back, but at the same time she wants me around. She said she wanted to see me, and foolishly I agreed, and drove to her house. We sat there and talked a little, I told her that this had to stop. I couldn't act like I didn't care anymore and I told her that if there's no chance for us, then she needs to let it go and leave me in the past. It kills me to hear from her, and puts me right back where I was 6 months ago. After a while she hugged me, and said goodbye. She agreed to not call me anymore. Inside I was crushed by I knew it was right. At this point I figured this was really, actually it this time. Again, I was crushed, but it's for the best.
This morning she calls me again, tells me she can't deal with it and she misses me so much. I can tell she's really torn inside, but I told her that it's obviously over. She doesn't want me back and as much as I want her back, I know it won't work. We ended the conversation again with her telling me she'll try her hardest to never contact me again.
I just don't know what's up with her. She confuses me to no end. I love this girl with all my heart, it took me what felt like forever to get where I was, I believed in my mind that she had fully moved on and that helped a lot. Now I just can't stop thinking about her. Like I said, I feel like I'm back where I was when she first dumped me.
I'm really sorry for the wall of text, but I find it hard to talk to people about these things, so I appreciate it if you took the time to read and maybe respond.